Ever had to leave a gym you were happy training at, for personal reasons?

[EatMyShorts]

As in the technical tuition and training and everything, facilities, class time etc, everything bang on.

But perhaps you just didn't fit in there, with the general atmosphere encouraged and cultivated, as a person, you just go another way and it was better for all concerned, that you discontinue training there.

Anyone experience that?

It sucks right cause, you have to compromise this great practicality of good training, learning, progress, all cause as a person, you're basically not accepted.

Not for anything bizarre or "colorful", simply cause, in a conservative atmosphere, you refuse to adhere to those oppressive conventions.

i.e. you may be right and they may be wrong, but majority rules.

 

[Smato_rules]

Kind of. When I first moved to Florida I tried out a handful of gyms and went with the one I felt most comfortable in socially. I’m also not trying to become a world champion though, so having a good training environment is most important to me. I do mildly have some regret about not choosing one with more available classes, or going to vager rochas gym, but finding a place you fit in with is important to me.

On the other hand, my old gym in Connecticut had a drastic change in culture due to a family of jackass white belts and the owner being a lazy pothead that ended up boiling over and resulted in me leaving for good after three years and on bad terms. So I think it’s really important to have a good place to train with a good responsible instructor.

 

[Mike_Tyson33]

Yeah i did

 

[SHAOLINMONK420]

I really disliked an instructor i had who changed his name to shivaguru which i think means warmaster. i didnt know that at the time. he used his status in the gym to put people down get kids to work for him for free. etc etc moral of the story is dont go to a gym where the owner is a weirdo.

 

[shunyata]

To me personal reasons to leave or take a break from a gym were things like, had a new baby and got no time, spouse out of work and I can't afford it right now, moved and it's no longer geographically feasible, etc.

It would never occur to me to leave a place where the instruction was good, the drilling partners were good, and the rolling partners were good unless another training environment was substantially better in some way.

I'm there to train, the social aspect is not a major focus for me. That may sound cold and I am happy to make friends which of course does happen along the way, but that isn't a major goal of me training.

Now obviously if there was shady shit going down with the instruction, or with the class that the instructors refused to correct, then hell yeah feel free to go elsewhere.

 

[SHAOLINMONK420]

To me personal reasons to leave or take a break from a gym were things like, had a new baby and got no time, spouse out of work and I can't afford it right now, moved and it's no longer geographically feasible, etc.

It would never occur to me to leave a place where the instruction was good, the drilling partners were good, and the rolling partners were good unless another training environment was substantially better in some way.

I'm there to train, the social aspect is not a major focus for me. That may sound cold and I am happy to make friends which of course does happen along the way, but that isn't a major goal of me training.

Now obviously if there was shady shit going down with the instruction, or with the class that the instructors refused to correct, then hell yeah feel free to go elsewhere.

almost all gyms can have bad apple students but regardless of what the students are like STAY AWAY from instructors that are shady. ask questions like do you have an anti bully class for kids. try and find out the instructors character. i knew a con man with a bjj bb who used to pretend to offer first month free lessons and some how con his way turning that free lesson contract into a yearly membership. im not sure exactly how the con went but he also burned down our gym to collect insurance.

 

[rmongler]

As in the technical tuition and training and everything, facilities, class time etc, everything bang on.

But perhaps you just didn't fit in there, with the general atmosphere encouraged and cultivated, as a person, you just go another way and it was better for all concerned, that you discontinue training there.

Anyone experience that?

It sucks right cause, you have to compromise this great practicality of good training, learning, progress, all cause as a person, you're basically not accepted.

Not for anything bizarre or "colorful", simply cause, in a conservative atmosphere, you refuse to adhere to those oppressive conventions.

i.e. you may be right and they may be wrong, but majority rules.

From the poncy way you're describing things it sounds like you were an odious pain for other gym goers to have to deal with and totally deserving of any bad reputation.

 

[shunyata]

Anyone experience that?
Not for anything bizarre or "colorful", simply cause, in a conservative atmosphere, you refuse to adhere to those oppressive conventions.

i.e. you may be right and they may be wrong, but majority rules.

I'm gonna need some details. Don't need to out yourself entirely but what was the ACTUAL beef?

Gym brand gis? Are you a devotee of the church of knee reaping and they just don't share your beliefs?

What really happened here?

 

[HunterAcosta]

Kind of. When I first moved to Florida I tried out a handful of gyms and went with the one I felt most comfortable in socially. I’m also not trying to become a world champion though, so having a good training environment is most important to me. I do mildly have some regret about not choosing one with more available classes, or going to vager rochas gym, but finding a place you fit in with is important to me.

On the other hand, my old gym in Connecticut had a drastic change in culture due to a family of jackass white belts and the owner being a lazy pothead that ended up boiling over and resulted in me leaving for good after three years and on bad terms. So I think it’s really important to have a good place to train with a good responsible instructor.

Care to elaborate on jackass family white belts and pot head instructor ?

 

[Minnja]

At one point I almost left my gym because the vibe got weird. The instructor was really great as a teacher and also a good competitor and he was doing great things for the gym (he was the instructor but not owner). For the first 1.5-2 years I was there it was amazing both instruction wise and culture wise. But as time moved on some things happened and some students left and the newer students were kind of weird and buying into that whole "BJJ lifestyle" thing and in some ways was becoming kind of culty. Vibes got really weird and it went from being a fairly strong competition team in the area to being filled with people who seemed more interested in posting about BJJ than actually training it.

I stopped training for a couple months and then when I got back into it I was training but focusing more on striking/MMA instead. Eventually the vibe kind of fixed itself but at that point a lot of the regulars already left and so in a way I felt kind of like a new guy even though I had been there way longer than a lot of the new people. The instructor left and opened his new gym and we got a new instructor and the vibes are a bit more similar to how it was when I started there.

So yeah, I almost left but ultimately didn't because I wanted to train striking/MMA and eventually when I got back into BJJ again the issues I had were mostly gone. I'm glad I did not leave the gym because it's in a good place again and because of the weirdness with BJJ stuff I was finally able to start looking into striking/MMA more seriously.

 

[Based and White Pilled]

Not for anything bizarre or "colorful", simply cause, in a conservative atmosphere, you refuse to adhere to those oppressive conventions.

i.e. you may be right and they may be wrong, but majority rules.

Are you saying that you're leaving a gym because the dudes who train there are conservative?

If so, you could try just not taking part in political discussion.

 

[kintana]

I have for work reasons but once I swtiched gyms in Venezuela due to different goals. One gym wanted pure Helio Gracie style and the coach would not take new ideas or breaks from a very structured and well thought out curriculum.

I left mainly because I disagreed with the coach and even though he was a dedicated teacher he was not a very good practitioner and was very closed minded to other teams. He liked control and any technique not in the curriculum you would get reprimanded and banned for a few days.

First time i saw this in any gym in the world.

 

[Zanderlini]

Personally no, I've been lucky and trained at great gyms with great instructors. I left gyms for plenty of life reasons but never because I had a problem with the actual gym. However IF I have ever trained at a gym where I just got a bad feeling about the character of the people there I would leave, you're a paying customer if the vibe isn't right better leave early rather then late. If something feels off it usually is. That's pretty much applicable everywhere.

 

[EatMyShorts]

However IF I have ever trained at a gym where I just got a bad feeling about the character of the people there I would leave, you're a paying customer if the vibe isn't right better leave early rather then late. If something feels off it usually is. That's pretty much applicable everywhere.

Good observation.

Expound with more examples perhaps?

I'm trying to put this in perspective of other situations, honestly trying to figure out who is at fault, and the best solution to this issue.

 

[Smato_rules]

Care to elaborate on jackass family white belts and pot head instructor ?

They took over the entire gym. The original owner sold it to the long time bjj instructor who’s a really nice guy but very non confrontational and was always high the entire time. These brothers came in and started training twice a day seven days a week and ended up running the warmups, controlling the music, and just dominating the atmosphere of the gym. I actually really like them but the problem is they were way too competitive and couldn’t accept losing. I was better than them so they would go hard as fuck against me then bitch whenever I would sub them or take them down because I’m too big.

What ended up making me leave was at the end of a class I was really beat up, had a bad neck that was all locked up, tendinitis in my arms, etc. and didn’t want to roll. My coach goes ah come on go with aj he wants to learn (he’s the youngest brother and just started but was huge and pretty good) so I did a light roll with him started on my back. I ended up doing a little flower sweep got on top and locked in a kimura and didn’t crank it. I slowly started pulling it back towards his head and he wasn’t tapping so I said this is where you tap and he goes no it doesn’t hurt so I slowly keep getting it tighter until he finally said ok. We get up that was the end of the round but he started swinging his arm like his shoulder is hurt.

Right away his brother comes up to me and goes let’s go so I lay on my ass let him pass and he’s fired up I could tell from his energy. He mounts and tries to get a no gi Ezekiel on me but it wasnt working. I roll him over and just stay in his guard til the round is over shake his hand and that was it. Until the other brother who’s the worst to roll with and injures everyone stands over me and goes “get up”. I’m like no I’m good I’m all beat up and he goes “no get up we’re going” so I say nah I’m done for the night I don’t just follow your orders” and he starts getting all fired up being like “you fucking pussy come on” and the other two circle around me. So I go what is this are you trying to throw punches and kicks in there too and he’s like “Yeah bro lets do that too!”. And I said fuck it I have work tomorrow, turn around and the coach was sitting right next to us the whole time never said a fucking thing.

No one did in the whole class, guys I would drill with, help, show techniques to, nobody said shit. I sit next to the coach and go are you ok with this? At first he pretended he didn’t see anything then all he had to say was ah that’s just rob no big deal. So I shook his hand said thank you for everything gave him my belt and left. Never went back again.

 

[yetanother]

I have for work reasons but once I swtiched gyms in Venezuela due to different goals. One gym wanted pure Helio Gracie style and the coach would not take new ideas or breaks from a very structured and well thought out curriculum.

I left mainly because I disagreed with the coach and even though he was a dedicated teacher he was not a very good practitioner and was very closed minded to other teams. He liked control and any technique no in the curriculum you would get reprimanded and banned for a few days.

First time i saw this in any gym in the world.

The coach seems to be a complete and utter retard.

 

[Evenflow80]

I like my current gym and my teammates and professor, but some things over the years made me think of going somewhere else:

- promotion is attendance based and follows IBJJF minimum standard. Meaning if you show up 3 times a week you will get blue belt at 1 year. Purple at 3 years, brown at 5 etc. I always thought this was bullshit but at the end realized all this becomes meaningless once I get a black belt and keep training for decades anyways.

- my instructor is super old school. Him and his master were actually some of thr first black belts to come over and teach in the US. As you can imagine he's very much a purist and denounces things like leg locks etc. He's also not a fan of no gi so we only have one no gi class a week which sucks . Still kicks my ass when we roll though so clearly I still have a lot to learn from him.

- speaking of old school, our professor tends to go off on us over the littlest things, like not facing wall to tie our belt or bowing before leaving mat etc. Sometimes if we are rolling and do something he disagrees with its a 5 minute lecture. Some might call it tough love and I personally don't mind but a lot of thr newer students who don't know him as well might get offended and leave

- we are not allowed to let people from other gyms drop in for open mat. I hate this so much as I feel BJJ is one large community and we are all an extended family and should welcome each other regardless of affiliation .

I stay becuase I've been there close to 6 years now, live down the street from it, take my 8 year old there to train, and gotten close to all my teammates and coaches. Plus I've mellowed out over the years and treat this more as a fun hobby as opposed to wanting to win double gold at ADCC

 

[Peteyandjia]

They took over the entire gym. The original owner sold it to the long time bjj instructor who’s a really nice guy but very non confrontational and was always high the entire time. These brothers came in and started training twice a day seven days a week and ended up running the warmups, controlling the music, and just dominating the atmosphere of the gym. I actually really like them but the problem is they were way too competitive and couldn’t accept losing. I was better than them so they would go hard as fuck against me then bitch whenever I would sub them or take them down because I’m too big.

What ended up making me leave was at the end of a class I was really beat up, had a bad neck that was all locked up, tendinitis in my arms, etc. and didn’t want to roll. My coach goes ah come on go with aj he wants to learn (he’s the youngest brother and just started but was huge and pretty good) so I did a light roll with him started on my back. I ended up doing a little flower sweep got on top and locked in a kimura and didn’t crank it. I slowly started pulling it back towards his head and he wasn’t tapping so I said this is where you tap and he goes no it doesn’t hurt so I slowly keep getting it tighter until he finally said ok. We get up that was the end of the round but he started swinging his arm like his shoulder is hurt.

Right away his brother comes up to me and goes let’s go so I lay on my ass let him pass and he’s fired up I could tell from his energy. He mounts and tries to get a no gi Ezekiel on me but it wasnt working. I roll him over and just stay in his guard til the round is over shake his hand and that was it. Until the other brother who’s the worst to roll with and injures everyone stands over me and goes “get up”. I’m like no I’m good I’m all beat up and he goes “no get up we’re going” so I say nah I’m done for the night I don’t just follow your orders” and he starts getting all fired up being like “you fucking pussy come on” and the other two circle around me. So I go what is this are you trying to throw punches and kicks in there too and he’s like “Yeah bro lets do that too!”. And I said fuck it I have work tomorrow, turn around and the coach was sitting right next to us the whole time never said a fucking thing.

No one did in the whole class, guys I would drill with, help, show techniques to, nobody said shit. I sit next to the coach and go are you ok with this? At first he pretended he didn’t see anything then all he had to say was ah that’s just rob no big deal. So I shook his hand said thank you for everything gave him my belt and left. Never went back again.

You found out the coach / instructor didn’t have your back, & I think you did the right thing. And you got to learn that lesson without paying for it in teeth, broken bones, or CTE. I’ve heard some real horror stories from other gyms. Good for you, for making the smart choice.

 

[HunterAcosta]

They took over the entire gym. The original owner sold it to the long time bjj instructor who’s a really nice guy but very non confrontational and was always high the entire time. These brothers came in and started training twice a day seven days a week and ended up running the warmups, controlling the music, and just dominating the atmosphere of the gym. I actually really like them but the problem is they were way too competitive and couldn’t accept losing. I was better than them so they would go hard as fuck against me then bitch whenever I would sub them or take them down because I’m too big.

What ended up making me leave was at the end of a class I was really beat up, had a bad neck that was all locked up, tendinitis in my arms, etc. and didn’t want to roll. My coach goes ah come on go with aj he wants to learn (he’s the youngest brother and just started but was huge and pretty good) so I did a light roll with him started on my back. I ended up doing a little flower sweep got on top and locked in a kimura and didn’t crank it. I slowly started pulling it back towards his head and he wasn’t tapping so I said this is where you tap and he goes no it doesn’t hurt so I slowly keep getting it tighter until he finally said ok. We get up that was the end of the round but he started swinging his arm like his shoulder is hurt.

Right away his brother comes up to me and goes let’s go so I lay on my ass let him pass and he’s fired up I could tell from his energy. He mounts and tries to get a no gi Ezekiel on me but it wasnt working. I roll him over and just stay in his guard til the round is over shake his hand and that was it. Until the other brother who’s the worst to roll with and injures everyone stands over me and goes “get up”. I’m like no I’m good I’m all beat up and he goes “no get up we’re going” so I say nah I’m done for the night I don’t just follow your orders” and he starts getting all fired up being like “you fucking pussy come on” and the other two circle around me. So I go what is this are you trying to throw punches and kicks in there too and he’s like “Yeah bro lets do that too!”. And I said fuck it I have work tomorrow, turn around and the coach was sitting right next to us the whole time never said a fucking thing.

No one did in the whole class, guys I would drill with, help, show techniques to, nobody said shit. I sit next to the coach and go are you ok with this? At first he pretended he didn’t see anything then all he had to say was ah that’s just rob no big deal. So I shook his hand said thank you for everything gave him my belt and left. Never went back again.

Totally dysfunctional Bjj gym . Good you left . Being “ hard “ at a Bjj gym always cracks me up though . Those guys should go pull that shit in a wrestling class , Muay Thai gym , mma gym or boxing gym . Strikes changes the whole game .

 

[Smato_rules]

You found out the coach / instructor didn’t have your back, & I think you did the right thing. And you got to learn that lesson without paying for it in teeth, broken bones, or CTE. I’ve heard some real horror stories from other gyms. Good for you, for making the smart choice.

Yea that’s what bothers me. I paid throughout the entire pandemic too to ensure they could stay open and this happened less than two months after we all came back.