Ever had to leave a gym you were happy training at, for personal reasons?

[Smato_rules]

Totally dysfunctional Bjj gym . Good you left . Being “ hard “ at a Bjj gym always cracks me up though . Those guys should go pull that shit in a wrestling class , Muay Thai gym , mma gym or boxing gym . Strikes changes the whole game .

Agreed. There were Muay Thai classes there too and none of this ego ever happened in those classes. And I also had been doing Muay Thai longer than bjj, along with being a good 70 pounds heavier than them. I honestly debate whether it would have been worth it to just fuck them up to teach them a lesson, but then again it wasn’t worth the trouble and potential of injury.

 

[Peteyandjia]

Yea that’s what bothers me. I paid throughout the entire pandemic too to ensure they could stay open and this happened less than two months after we all came back.

Just tell yourself, ‘oh well, at least it beats brain damage.’

I’ve literally heard just about the same story you told before, except it also involved a running kick to the face from someone else from behind during a roll, a severe concussion, broken jaw, & a partially crushed throat — all just to end up learning the exact same lesson about their shitty school that you learned, minus any of the damage or the recovery time.

So things could always be worse...

 

[EatMyShorts]

Jebus, the antsy shit some of ya'll describe, sounds like I'm getting off lightly.

The first wrestling gym I was at, some deviant homosexual dudes there would pull sick shit like oil checking (even during drills) etc.

I complained to the coach he said, "we're training for mma, he can break you arm = he can do this".

So I used to go super hard back and pull dirty technique like pull them back on their knees from turtle, knee ride ab compressor type move, rape chokes etc.

It became just a part of training.

Pulling a dude directly back in turtle position was my favourite cause it tests their flexibility and surprises them with pain, but they just oil checked me or raked my ribs with their knuckles so all was fair game.

That was the first gym and never had any problems there.

 

[EatMyShorts]

The latest place I was at, was the polar opposite.

No dirty techniques of any kind, but there was still plenty of creeped out homosexual maneuvers.

I was rolling with this real closet queen no-gi, and every opportunity he had, he'd try to caress my nipples and abs through the rash guard, no shame.
End of the class, I saw him approaching me to catch a grope, and knew if he did, I was gonna headbutt him.
He sensed my potential aggressive stance and thought better of indulging his creeped out sexual tendencies.

He was an assistant coach there also, so after that I basically decided, you know what - this owner is trying to run a club.

Maybe they're in the wrong but, as best I can tell, I bring out negative attention from other people and no one else in the class does so, I'm sure he doesn't want his business disrupted by a polarizing individual who's creating tension between other club members (who have no problems with anyone other than me) and himself.

When I say polarizing it normally means love/hate. So the entire class hated me, who loved me?
The owners daughter who worked reception, developed the biggest crush on me.

.....

That's what it seems to come down to here.

Basically I elicit what would appear largely, frustration from other members.

So I don't think I'm in the wrong, but ultimately everyone in the class ended up hating me so was easier for all concerned if I just left.

 

[EatMyShorts]

And this is just grappling clubs.

From the start of time I've had this issue.

First kickboxing gym I was at, they basically ostracized me, just for me being me.
I mean I'd walk through the door and just sense their contempt.

So I switched to another gym across town and the coach basically took me in like a son and I had huge success under his tutelage.

That's what I mean by polarizing.

I just get that love/hate response from folk, and in this current place - it's nothing but hate.

Even though I'm doing or have done nothing wrong other than be myself, that's basically the communal response from the entire class, to me.

 

[Sweeptheleg7]

They took over the entire gym. The original owner sold it to the long time bjj instructor who’s a really nice guy but very non confrontational and was always high the entire time. These brothers came in and started training twice a day seven days a week and ended up running the warmups, controlling the music, and just dominating the atmosphere of the gym. I actually really like them but the problem is they were way too competitive and couldn’t accept losing. I was better than them so they would go hard as fuck against me then bitch whenever I would sub them or take them down because I’m too big.

What ended up making me leave was at the end of a class I was really beat up, had a bad neck that was all locked up, tendinitis in my arms, etc. and didn’t want to roll. My coach goes ah come on go with aj he wants to learn (he’s the youngest brother and just started but was huge and pretty good) so I did a light roll with him started on my back. I ended up doing a little flower sweep got on top and locked in a kimura and didn’t crank it. I slowly started pulling it back towards his head and he wasn’t tapping so I said this is where you tap and he goes no it doesn’t hurt so I slowly keep getting it tighter until he finally said ok. We get up that was the end of the round but he started swinging his arm like his shoulder is hurt.

Right away his brother comes up to me and goes let’s go so I lay on my ass let him pass and he’s fired up I could tell from his energy. He mounts and tries to get a no gi Ezekiel on me but it wasnt working. I roll him over and just stay in his guard til the round is over shake his hand and that was it. Until the other brother who’s the worst to roll with and injures everyone stands over me and goes “get up”. I’m like no I’m good I’m all beat up and he goes “no get up we’re going” so I say nah I’m done for the night I don’t just follow your orders” and he starts getting all fired up being like “you fucking pussy come on” and the other two circle around me. So I go what is this are you trying to throw punches and kicks in there too and he’s like “Yeah bro lets do that too!”. And I said fuck it I have work tomorrow, turn around and the coach was sitting right next to us the whole time never said a fucking thing.

No one did in the whole class, guys I would drill with, help, show techniques to, nobody said shit. I sit next to the coach and go are you ok with this? At first he pretended he didn’t see anything then all he had to say was ah that’s just rob no big deal. So I shook his hand said thank you for everything gave him my belt and left. Never went back again.

Damn, I can believe that happened and your coach didn’t have your back. You did the right thing by leaving. I can’t picture that gym being able to grow because a culture of hurting your training partners just means less tuition. I mean you can have hard training but that’s something else

 

[biscuitsbrah]

Lol. Didn’t know you actually trained. You’re either making this stuff up or your being really weird

 

[Smato_rules]

Just tell yourself, ‘oh well, at least it beats brain damage.’

I’ve literally heard just about the same story you told before, except it also involved a running kick to the face from someone else from behind during a roll, a severe concussion, broken jaw, & a partially crushed throat — all just to end up learning the exact same lesson about their shitty school that you learned, minus any of the damage or the recovery time.

So things could always be worse...

Yessir you are right, the place isn’t worth getting in a fight over. I appreciate the support.

 

[Smato_rules]

Damn, I can believe that happened and your coach didn’t have your back. You did the right thing by leaving. I can’t picture that gym being able to grow because a culture of hurting your training partners just means less tuition. I mean you can have hard training but that’s something else

Agreed. I hear from my buddy who still trains there it’s getting out of hand so I’m glad I got out when I did.

 

[Zanderlini]

Good observation.

Expound with more examples perhaps?

I'm trying to put this in perspective of other situations, honestly trying to figure out who is at fault, and the best solution to this issue.

If I would have gotten a sense that people in the gym aren't good/decent/honorable people I would leave. I wouldn't be in a gym full of racists and bigots. I wouldn't be in a gym where it would be okay to be disguising to female teammates. I wouldn't be in the gym were it's okay to hurt new people or guys visiting from other gyms. I wouldn't be in a gym full of stoners, I don't mean people who smoke pot, I mean people who are high all the fucking time.

On the flip side if your gym is just full of people with different political views that's perfectly okay. Granted if they are good people. Surrounding yourself with people that think differently then you and finding common ground is good for you and good for the world.

 

[Zanderlini]

Jebus, the antsy shit some of ya'll describe, sounds like I'm getting off lightly.

The first wrestling gym I was at, some deviant homosexual dudes there would pull sick shit like oil checking (even during drills) etc.

I complained to the coach he said, "we're training for mma, he can break you arm = he can do this".

So I used to go super hard back and pull dirty technique like pull them back on their knees from turtle, knee ride ab compressor type move, rape chokes etc.

It became just a part of training.

Pulling a dude directly back in turtle position was my favourite cause it tests their flexibility and surprises them with pain, but they just oil checked me or raked my ribs with their knuckles so all was fair game.

That was the first gym and never had any problems there.

If somebody oil checks you, you punch then in the face. I trained under Sergio Pena and Ricardo Calvacanti I've never seen anybody oil check someone (unless as a joke with their friend) and I'm pretty sure if either Master Sergio or Ricardo saw it (unless it was a joke) they would would step in and ask them what the fuck are they doing. That shit just doesn't fly in real jiu jitsu gyms. It's beyond retarded. What's next fucking eye gouging.

 

[kintana]

The coach seems to be a complete and utter retard.

I wouldn't say that, he had the theory down pat and was very structured. I saw some white belts there do basics better than purple belts in top gyms around the world.

But I said always he trained good teachers not good fighters. My belief is that he thought that if someone did something he did not teach it would make him look bad.

I did a tornardo guard once and he asked me not to come back for 2 days. Since torando guard was not in his curriculum.

 

[xMTDx]

I'm 40. Been training 15 years. I am polite and diplomatic, help out, mop mats, listen and roll hard. But fucked if I am letting anyone be a authoritarian to me and ruining what I consider a positive outlet in my life. It's my money and my time on the earth. I am not trying to be elite comp wise so I will always go where the instruction is good but the atmosphere and environment is best, and I have moved because of this a couple of times.

 

[560ti]

Carlos Machados gym, had to leave because the atmosphere changed. His psychopath wife (whose like 20 years younger than him) ran off all the old school blackbelts and the gym turned into basically a daycare for North Dallas lawyers. No hard sparring, no competitions, guranteed promotions after X amount of classes. Had to leave, atmosphere (especially for the price) was too babyish

 

[Smato_rules]

Carlos Machados gym, had to leave because the atmosphere changed. His psychopath wife (whose like 20 years younger than him) ran off all the old school blackbelts and the gym turned into basically a daycare for North Dallas lawyers. No hard sparring, no competitions, guranteed promotions after X amount of classes. Had to leave, atmosphere (especially for the price) was too babyish

Damn that sucks. He looks like such a good teacher, I love his tutorials online.

 

[Gym Turtle]

I'm a solid 191 cm, 6ft 3".

About the same height as Dwayne Johnson.

You know what the advantage is?

Fear.

I'm also jacked, but there's plenty of jacked manlets, and they don't elicit that fear.

People take one look at you and immediately think, "aw shit, not gonna fuck with him".

People are like cock-a-roaches, especially in free-for-all social environments.
If they could give you shit, or fuck with you in some capacity, they would.
Crap rolls downhill.

I noticed today, I went to hang at this social outdoor spot by the river, listening to some sounds on my new KZ ZSN pro headphones (beastly), checking out some hot girls etc.

I could see folk looking at me thinking, "who you think you are, standing there like you don't have a care in the world - Fonzy?".

And then they'd clock my height and think, "aw shit - eyes forward, eyes forward".

It's that simple.

Seems to be the world we live in.

If I was a manlet, you can be sure some folks might try and fuck with me.

6ft 3", jacked - I'm teflon.

Not true.

No one ever got in my face physically.

I grew up with dudes that got in fights constantly, and I was not always jacked.

Always got mad pussy too.

Dafuq?

I've won titles in it moron.

God forbid a dude should think outside the box and diversify/improve his style.

Qiu has broke up thai champions with his style - there's clearly merit to diversifying.

Why would a gym reject a primo Sherdogger like you?

 

[EatMyShorts]

Why would a gym reject a primo Sherdogger like you?

I'm still intimidated the lengths some forum users go to backsearch through others post history.

I honestly couldn't give AF enough about another poster to do so.

Still though, your question is valid.

See, the gym is a mix, actual solid competitors that win legit tournaments, day folk who just want to train and be fit, even down to gals who want to keep in shape an socialize a little.

It's got a tremendous reputation in terms of quality training, tuition and generally being a great place to train.

.....

So yeah, how is it that I'm simply not accepted there?

That I walk through the door and sometimes I actually see the coaches face drop, as in, "not this fuckin' guy again" (and it's been like that from day 1).

Is my behavior unbecoming? .... Hell no.

Am I uncivilized?..... Hell no.

Is there anything specific in my actions to generate an aversive response?..... also, hell no.

Well, for now, all I can attribute it to is what I've always attributed my problems training in certain places to - being polarizing.

I just elicit that love/hate response, and when it's the hate response, continued or long term training is simply not possible.

 

[EatMyShorts]

Just other perspective also, I was at a boxing club for just over a year some time ago.

The coach absolutely loved me, way out of his way to help with techniques, everything, driving to tournaments etc.

My time there culminated with him telling me to leave the club, i.e. being expelled.

That's kind of polarized right there, right?

 

[nefti]

They took over the entire gym. The original owner sold it to the long time bjj instructor who’s a really nice guy but very non confrontational and was always high the entire time. These brothers came in and started training twice a day seven days a week and ended up running the warmups, controlling the music, and just dominating the atmosphere of the gym. I actually really like them but the problem is they were way too competitive and couldn’t accept losing. I was better than them so they would go hard as fuck against me then bitch whenever I would sub them or take them down because I’m too big.

What ended up making me leave was at the end of a class I was really beat up, had a bad neck that was all locked up, tendinitis in my arms, etc. and didn’t want to roll. My coach goes ah come on go with aj he wants to learn (he’s the youngest brother and just started but was huge and pretty good) so I did a light roll with him started on my back. I ended up doing a little flower sweep got on top and locked in a kimura and didn’t crank it. I slowly started pulling it back towards his head and he wasn’t tapping so I said this is where you tap and he goes no it doesn’t hurt so I slowly keep getting it tighter until he finally said ok. We get up that was the end of the round but he started swinging his arm like his shoulder is hurt.

Right away his brother comes up to me and goes let’s go so I lay on my ass let him pass and he’s fired up I could tell from his energy. He mounts and tries to get a no gi Ezekiel on me but it wasnt working. I roll him over and just stay in his guard til the round is over shake his hand and that was it. Until the other brother who’s the worst to roll with and injures everyone stands over me and goes “get up”. I’m like no I’m good I’m all beat up and he goes “no get up we’re going” so I say nah I’m done for the night I don’t just follow your orders” and he starts getting all fired up being like “you fucking pussy come on” and the other two circle around me. So I go what is this are you trying to throw punches and kicks in there too and he’s like “Yeah bro lets do that too!”. And I said fuck it I have work tomorrow, turn around and the coach was sitting right next to us the whole time never said a fucking thing.

No one did in the whole class, guys I would drill with, help, show techniques to, nobody said shit. I sit next to the coach and go are you ok with this? At first he pretended he didn’t see anything then all he had to say was ah that’s just rob no big deal. So I shook his hand said thank you for everything gave him my belt and left. Never went back again.

If no one stood up or said anything to stop the fight there are two explanations. Either you were right and you were the only man at the gym and everyone else were p*ssies/bad people. Or there is something you are leaving out and/or dont perceive/realize about yourself. So it could be everyone but you, just you, or you and everyone.


Usually in a situation where only one person says they were the sole good person/real man in the gym... there is something missing in the story.

 

[nefti]

The latest place I was at, was the polar opposite.

No dirty techniques of any kind, but there was still plenty of creeped out homosexual maneuvers.

I was rolling with this real closet queen no-gi, and every opportunity he had, he'd try to caress my nipples and abs through the rash guard, no shame.
End of the class, I saw him approaching me to catch a grope, and knew if he did, I was gonna headbutt him.
He sensed my potential aggressive stance and thought better of indulging his creeped out sexual tendencies.

He was an assistant coach there also, so after that I basically decided, you know what - this owner is trying to run a club.

Maybe they're in the wrong but, as best I can tell, I bring out negative attention from other people and no one else in the class does so, I'm sure he doesn't want his business disrupted by a polarizing individual who's creating tension between other club members (who have no problems with anyone other than me) and himself.

When I say polarizing it normally means love/hate. So the entire class hated me, who loved me?
The owners daughter who worked reception, developed the biggest crush on me.

.....

That's what it seems to come down to here.

Basically I elicit what would appear largely, frustration from other members.

So I don't think I'm in the wrong, but ultimately everyone in the class ended up hating me so was easier for all concerned if I just left.

#metoo