Kiwi is a fat piece of shit- accountability and self-hatred log

Kiwi Tricker

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Hi guys. I'm back because I've spent too long not doing shit and drinking too much beer. So, to try and make sure I have some accountability, here's a new training log. Watch me try and get away from being back to baby-level strength and conditioning shit.

Kiwi's Log: 19/07/2019

Strength (AM):


Power snatch/hang snatch/overhead squat:
40kg x 2
50kg x 1 x 2
55kg x 1
60kg x 1 x 4
Finished with a few sets of power snatch with a couple of overhead squats, because lol I have no fucking stability at the bottom anymore.

Squat:
60kg x 5
80kg x 5
100kg x 5
120kg x 4 x 3

Muay Thai: (PM)

Started off with some shadow boxing to warm up, then held pads for my ol' buddy Meat while the rest of the class did other pad round drills. Turns out the clock was set to 4-minute rounds. Yucky for a pair of fat boys with no gas. After I held, my turn to hit. Everything felt and looked shit. It is what it is.
From there, combination drills, going back and forth for a few rounds of a few punches, finished with either a kick or a knee. The combos were a little out of my normal rhythm, especially now I'm uncoordinated and fat and lazy. After that we moved to sparring drills, starting with 1-step sparring for 2 rounds, then 2-step sparring for 2 rounds, then 3-step for a couple rounds, then 4-step for the last couple rounds of drilling. Finished the night off with maybe 6 or 7 rounds of freestyle sparring before my lungs collapsed and I surrendered to the void.
 
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I like this log
 
Kiwi's log: 20/07/2019

Muay Thai:

Sparring session at the old gym in Wellington this morning. Went down to help a mate out as she's been confirmed for her first fight soon. Warmed up a little, then we went into clinch training. Showed these whippersnappers a thing or two about using your noggin to make the other person uncomfortable, as well as pushing face and breaking posture and just generally being a bit nasty and impolite with a lot of it. After that, a couple of rounds of sparring where one person was trying to initiate the clinch, and the other trying to keep that person out. If you got locked up in the clinch, punishment was a leg kick. From there, a couple rounds of one-step sparring, then some check drills, then about 10 rounds of freestyle sparring. Took off gloves and shin pads and cooled down with some super light contact technique sparring. Another day, another realisation that holy shit am I unfit. Could have been worse though.

Short clip of sparring stolen from FB live video, sparring against a rather large beginner. Last round of the day. In the spoiler tag.

 
23/07/2019:

Strength and conditioning:

Clean and jerk:
60kg x 2 x 2
70kg x 1 x 2
80kg x 1
85kg x 1
90kg x 1 x 3

Squat:
60kg x 10
80kg x 5
100kg x 5
120kg x 4
130kg x 2 x 3

Bench:
40kg x 10
60kg x 6
70kg x 5
75kg x 4 x 4

Pull-ups:
BW x 12, 10, 10 reps

Ladder of:
Kettlebell swings, 10-1 reps at 32kg
Burpees, 1-10 reps

Holy shit I am unfit. I don't think I have ever appreciated the saying "it's harder to get in shape than it is to stay in shape" more than I do right now. 20 minutes after the conditioning portion of the workout and I still felt like spewing. Jeezus Christ.
 
24/07/2019:

Conditioning (LISS):

5.4km run. Fasted, AM. Time 31:45, average pace 5:53/km. Started off a little slower and picked up a little bit as I settled into the run more. No HR data.
 
25/07/2019:

Strength:

Snatch:
40kg x 3 x 2
50kg x 2 x 2
55kg x 2
60kg x 2 x 2
65kg x 2 x 3 (plus a few misses, Jesus Christ where was I this morning)

Barbell lunge:
60kg x 12 x 3
superset
Chest-to-bar chin-up:
BW x 7, 7, 6 reps

GHR:
BW x 8, 8, 7 reps

DB bench:
25kg x 12 x 3
superset
Chest-supported incline DB row:
20kg x 12 x 3
super duper set
DB lateral raises:
10kg x 10 x 3

Everything felt good this morning except snatches which made me want to go back to bed and get a bucket of KFC delivered at 6:30am.

Will there be more today? Maybe. Maybe not. On the road for work so no idea what time I'll get where. Should squeeze in some conditioning if I get the time for it though.
 
02/08/2019:

Muay Thai:

Sparring sparring sparring. 3-minute rounds, 60 seconds rest. Went for maybe an hour. Feeling better and better with sparring, learning how to move and do shit again. Not much to add, really. Still got lol no lungs, and I'm soft like dough. Getting some confidence and some sense back again though.

Short clip from a round with Dan. It might not look like it, but he's a little over 10kg bigger than me at the moment- my fat ass is sitting around 78kg at the moment. Too many beers, too much food, not enough cardio.

 
03/08/2019:

Muay Thai:

Sparring sparring sparring. Guest at Jai again today. Warmed up a little, then clinch for a few rounds showing these whippersnappers how to be a dick and mash the other person's face to create space and take your opponent's head away from the center line. After a little clinch, a round or two of one-step sparring, then normal sparring for 3-minute rounds. Dunno how many rounds I did again, but it was an hour. Cooled down with a round of no-gear light contact sparring. After that, spent the better part of an hour running one of their up-and-coming first-timers through some pad rounds, drills, and Thai-style conditioning. I love making other people miserable. It's nice holding pads again, it helps me remember what I'm doing for my own stuff as well.
 
16/08/2019:

Strength:

Hang clean:
60kg x 3 x 2
70kg x 3
75kg x 3
80kg x 3 x 3 @ RPE 8ish
70kg x 2, every minute on the minute for 5 minutes

Bench:
Bar x a couple
40kg x 10
50kg x 8
60kg x 6
70kg x 5 x 4

Pull-ups:
BW x 8 x 4, performed as superset with working sets of bench

Paused squat:
60kg x 6
80kg x 5
100kg x 3 x 2
110kg x 3 x 4

Riding that early morning struggle bus. Cleans felt okay-ish.
 
congrats on the beer drinking
 
congrats on the beer drinking
Thx brah, p4p champ at smashing too many shitty IPAs.
Welcome back. Did you ever make it to Thailand?
Unfortunately not. Spent 2018 living on minimum wage and working weird hours, so never even trained properly, let alone in another country. This year my living conditions have been a lot better, but I've also been on the road a whole lot. Working autonomously has been both a blessing and a curse, and my overall productivity still isn't what it could or should be.

On that note. Apologies for the delay in training updates. In general over the last while my mental health has been deteriorating pretty rapidly. This culminated in being admitted to the hospital emergency department the previous weekend and being placed under observation for the night. Not a great way to find out how far you've gone, but I knew I wasn't on a great path, and that's why I came back and started logging again. So, anyway, that's where I've been missing after only just starting this again lol. Vast majority of this week was a massive write-off, but started easing back into it on Friday. This is just an acknowledgement to myself really that I haven't been okay, but that I'm working on improving shit again. Hopefully we'll actually see something come from it this time.

Anyway, fuck you, here's some training updates.

30/08/2019:

Strength:

Jerk from blocks:
50kg x 3 x 2
60kg x 3
70kg x 3
80kg x 2 x 2
85kg x 2 x 2
90kg x 1 x 3

Front squat (2-count pause):
90kg x 3 x 4

Wide-grip landmine row:
20kg x 15
30kg x 12 x 3


Muay Thai:

Made it in a little early. Helped beginners with their pad drills and working technique for a little bit. Sparring class. Warmed up with a couple of rounds of clinching for 5-minute rounds, rotating partners every 30 seconds, then a round switching from clinching to boxing sparring every 30 seconds too. From there, into regular old sparring. 3-minute rounds, 60 seconds rest. I dunno how many rounds I did, but by the end I was absolutely exhausted. Had a fun guest in the gym tonight- one of the two kiwis that have beaten me, and this gentleman has done it twice. In fact, my last fight was getting beaten up by him. Video in the spoiler below.

 
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31/08/2019:

Muay Thai:

A casual session at my trainer's house today in the new garage gym. Warmed up, then cycled through a few rounds. 3 minutes work, 60 seconds rest. 2 bag rounds, a pad round, a bag round, a pad round, then repeat the cycle again, and then another couple of extra pad rounds to finish. Still remembering how to do all this shit. Pads are hard. I'm tired. Held pads for a couple rounds, and then finished with some core work, then a couple sets of doing static holds at the top of a chin-up for 3 sets of 30 seconds.
 
This is just an acknowledgement to myself really that I haven't been okay, but that I'm working on improving shit again. Hopefully we'll actually see something come from it this time.

Wow. Good luck.

I've been through some of these issues myself (runs in the family quite severely) and also studied this stuff at University. I don't know your particular details, but I do know it can be very hard to make yourself get help. In addition to the general stigma that surrounds mental health issues (all that "it's not a real condition, it just represents a weakness of character" stuff), some conditions directly undermine your desire to get help when you are particularly afflicted. But I also know that, depending on the condition, many are very treatable these days.

Anyway, as I say- good luck. And in the meantime, go hit some people and lift some weights.
 
It shits me you’ve been unwell, while we don’t know one another we’ve been a part of the same community in nz, talk to your peeps bro
Much love
Damon Sturmey
 
Hey man,
I've worked in Mental health on the acute care side so I've seen it all. I also have family history and experience myself.
Not a great way to find out how far you've gone, but I knew I wasn't on a great path, and that's why I came back and started logging again.

This is so fucking true, dog! But its often a blessing in disguise and can be the beginning of a great next chapter in someone's life.

Keep us posted and stay in touch with how things progress, mentally!
 
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