Official War Room Awards 2020: A Back Alley Love Story

[Limbo Pete]

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's TIME!

After much hand wringing, childish foot stomping from a certain hairy, diminutive poster, German-style harassment, and overall consternation, our moment of yearly judgment has finally slithered out into the cold light of day!

As far as years go, this one has been a doozy here in the War Room. Outlandish sex tape conspiracies, corrosive paranoia, vicious backstabbing, explosive meltdowns, screaming Belgian poltergeists, threats of mass violence, the slow march into madness for a long suffering Australian moderator, and even some battle-tested boxer-briefs... documented for posterity here in everyone's favorite cesspool. So step right up and take this opportunity to tell all of the jabroni ass weaklings out there just how much you despise them, or hop in and give a shout out to all the homies that make the grinding petulance of this place tolerable enough to keep coming back for more.

The subject of the nomination process always generates a lot of butthurt and hand waving so, as per tradition, i've decided to completely ignore all suggestions for improvement and refuse to change anything about how this works. So, how does this work? Below you sits a variety of award categories. Make a post of your nominations and tag me in it. The post should include the words "official nominations"; I will type that into the search filter and collect the responses once nominations have been closed. The votes will then be tallied and winners added to the OP.

The categories this year are:

• Best All Around Poster: Ask yourself this question: who do I hate the least? The answer should probably be your winner. This can be someone that makes thoughtful, substantive contributions to the forum dialogue... or someone with such vicious and well placed pwns that you always keep half an eye peeled for their posts.
• Worst All Around Poster: The scum to end all scum. You're not sure what rock this sack of crap oozed out from under, but one thing is for sure: they absolutely suck, and this website would be vastly improved if they were shot into the sun irl.
• Best TS: The rarest of rare War Room contributors is someone that make consistently high quality threads, and they should be recognized by one and all for possessing enough composure, self restraint, and sheer willpower to actually follow the rules and generate useful content.
• Worst TS: Our favorite sub forum hellscape is home to no small number of noxious goblins, and this one really takes the cake. There are always those posters that pollute our home with threads that nobody on God's green Earth would ever, ever want to read, and certainly should never have been made. This TS doesn't make threads so much as they spray them out like greasy Taco Bell diarrhea.
• Best Thread: One of the most highly coveted of War Room awards, this one goes out to to the thread that you enjoyed above all others. Could be something which was highly intriguing and thought provoki- Oh who are we kidding? Which one of these things made you laugh the hardest? Which thread had the most enjoyable train wreck? Which thread did you find yourself reading through multiple times just to savor how ridiculous and awesome it was?
• Best Ban, aka the "Smoked Like A Freshly Rolled Pack" Award: Oh, the sweet, sweet taste of seeing your foes banished into oblivion. It's probably been a long time coming, too. Or, at the very least, spectacularly satisfying.
• Best Rivalry: A battle for the ages. Typically between two posters, but sometimes between one posters and an entire mob, or even vs reality itself. You decide. What matters is that this feud interested you like driving past a car crash rather than exhausted you like waiting in line at the DMV.
• Best Insult: In the interest of more fully documenting the most satisfying pwns/burns/clap backs/cutting retorts the War room has to offer, this category has been expanded to include up to 3 outstanding insults. Please include links, if at all possible.
• The Starman Memorial Maximum Turtle Award: A brand new award designed for those that display extraordinary levels of forum cowardice, this particular category goes for someone that completely abandoned a thread, position, or just general human dignity in the face of being completely and utterly besmirched. The most worthy of consideration are those that preface their flight with excessive bravado.
• The Would You Shut up, Man? Award for Best Lunatic Conspiracy Thread: God help us all, this is going to be a tough one. And yet, we must choose a winner.
• Best Donald Trump Fellatio by a Canadian Poster: We don't know why you're so obsessed with a guy that isn't even your own damn President, but man do you have double under hooks on those nuts.
• The Squealing Hog Award for Maximum Snitchery: No sir, I just don't trust them. Not one bit. They might not always be reporting, but they're alllllllways watching.....
• Most Shitfaced: Sure to be a hotly contested category given the number of stumbling drunks falling all over this place.
• Best and Worst mod: Totally not going to be @Madmick again for the latter half of this award. Totally not. Totally.

And last but not least:

Spoiler

• Sketch or Tonni?

Come dish out your nominations and let everyone know just how little respect for them you have as a living human beings, or how much you desperately want to French Kiss them irl. The nomination window will close Wednesday, December 16th at 5:00 pm Pacific Time.

*****!!!!!RESULTS!!!!!*****
https://forums.sherdog.com/posts/162998563/


_____________________________________________________________________________​

*****But WAIT!!!!*****
​

In celebration of this momentous, hideous, amazing year, resident wordsmith @Amerikuracana has chosen to bless this most auspicious of threads with what can only be described as a towering masterpiece of erotic Sherdog fan fiction. Yes, you all read that right. Rejoice, fellow Sherdoggers, in the "Sherotic" alley way fist-fight / threesome conjured from the nightmarish mind of the man we know simply as "Larry":

Spoiler

Ameri and Inga


Amerikuracana and IngaVovchanchen were regular people who did not own a mansion. They liked the same music and danced the same to it, they both had their problems but found their way through it. Amerikuracana is a guy you would wanna if you're a girl who likes heat that’s as hot as a sauna. Inga was quiet and played her hand tight; she could wrap a fella around her finger and always just might.. They met online and it just kind of clicked, she wanted his badder straight out of his *&$%.


Amerikuracana was cool and couldn’t be trapped or wrapped on her finger; that’s what she liked, he was in shape and clever and rode a nice bike. The two in this crew made some plans what to do; they would meet and would greet and would kick off their shoes, they would see where it went knowing everything ends, there would be no speed limits and they’d be more than friends. Excitement was building for when they would meet, they were from different states but lived on the same street. “You’re on Huron and I am as well, this towns’ not the best but it’s better than hell.” Inga isn’t flat like the state of Ohio, and unlike the state she had brains and some style. Michigan is bleh and looks like a mitten, Amer’d rather not be there but there he was sittin.. Inga put on some makeup to look cute as a kitten hoping a clever cool guy could maybe be smitten.


The place where they met was a street like most places, they smiled and smirked when they saw each others’ faces; she liked his shape and he liked her shoelaces, they looked and they smiled in new person fashion, they liked what they saw and who needs a mansion. The night that they met was exciting and neat, a big fight was happening on tv at a bar down the street. Others would be there that had previously agreed, they had all talked enough that it was time theymeet. They walked there together not knowing what to expect, but they were already happy and wanted what’s next. “We shouldn’t go in together, it wouldn’t be fair, those guys don’t have sex and of girls might be scared.” Inga said and Ameri agreed, they would go inside separate and would meet again when they leave. Inga walked in and scanned alone for some name tags, surprised they all showed, but not surprised they all showed stag. She sat and she talked at a table with four, Jack V the pretentious, Lead and two more.. After a few minutes she stared at the door. Amerikuracana came through with a smile and swagger, the try-hards in groups unlike him couldn’t have her. The War-room meeting at the brawl-wood bar was a success, the fight was ending and Fedor impressed. Jon Jones finally lost to the pudgy old man, high fives and loud yells shook the roof from the fans. It had been over two hours the two had to wait, they were there for each other and the night was getting late. Amerikuracana made his exit and high fived some of the folks, Inga watched and was quiet with her secrets and her hopes. Nobody knew that this was all about them, the whole thing was planned just so that they could *ahem.*

She gave some friendly hugs to guys that showed up, but she needed to leave now to get something rough. She got out the door of the huron street bar, not in Ohio, but also not far; Amerikuracana was standing with his back on the wall, looking happy and ready and wanting it all. Inga walked over preparing her finger, She wanted a kiss and then for ameri to fling her- over his shoulder and to carry her off, they made a connection and it wasn’t soft. She flung her arms around his neck and looked in his eyes, when they look naughty like that their looks not a lie. The two started to kiss and tongues tasted delicious, but the door flew open sounding something like vicious. A figure in a hat strolled out onto Huron, “That dude he’s with me and that’s something I’m sure on.” The voice was experienced, a girls, and accented, the pressure could be felt and was about to be vented. Behind this new figure fat ass Limbo Pete sweated. She took off the hat, the other girl from this world, she was small but looked feisty her fist tightly curled. “Fedor just won, did you see that shit?” Stepping out from the shadow the sprite got in the first lick, Inga was shocked and the hit split her lip. Amerikuracana was going to step in, but he kind of liked fights and wanted to see who would win. Inga struck back and they both started swinging; hair was being grabbed and skirts started lifting. The hottest women’s fight you’d ever want to see, happened on Huron (the word that ur on) and was of course over me.

All the war room regulars were watching outside, tucking their boners without much to hide, the girls were now grappling, and the rules were from Pride.

After blood started flowing Ameri laughed and pulled them up, like the daddy they wanted he pulled them up rough. “The fuck you doing, I don’t even know who you are..” But the eyes caught the name tag of the girl seeing stars. “Oh man you’re here, what a surprise, you should have told me you’re coming I’d have made you some time. “The fuck you talking about” Inga said angry, this was our night bastard, now fuckng unhand me.” Amerikuracana seriously looked at both women, his eyes full of realness his balls full of semen------


“I like this one and this one so this one is rough, but I liked this one first and this ones’ fingercuffs. We’re supposed to fuck and we both fucking know it, I’ve got a nice dick and she wants to grow it. I know how she wants it so bad she could cry, I like seeing that reflection in somebody’s eyes. She’s likes a lot of others and so do I, but dumb shit doesn’t matter when feelings get high. I’m sorry Inga but this baby is first, I gotta get in there and give her a burst.” Inga jerked away looking dejected, “Hey cuffs little baby, I’m going to get you infected.” “You wat mate?” she said with her face busted up, they kissed like it’s real and felt all kinds of good stuff.

*****???WHAT???*****
****!!!?THERE'S EVEN MORE?!!!****​

In response to the above dumpster fire being born kicking and howling into this world, Limbo Pete has composed a rival story -in the form of a play- for all Sherdoggers to enjoy. Drink deeply of the madness, my dear friends.

https://forums.sherdog.com/posts/162969086/

 

[Deorum]

There are some legendary new categories this year.



I'll be back in 2021.

 

[Bald1]

Let the games begin! Who's gonna light the dumpster fire?

Thanks Limbo. Was wondering when this would start.

 

[My Spot]

I'd suggest another category - Poorest Poster (person who doesn't live in the US and thinks we're a "shithole" yet spends years and years on a US karate forum).

 

[jk7707]

 

[jk7707]

I'd suggest another category - Poorest Poster (person who doesn't live in the US and thinks we're a "shithole" yet spends years and years on a US karate forum).

The "Revolver: You sound poor" award?

 

[Don the grifter]

Limbo in charge? Psh - this is so going to be rigged.

 

[Natural Order]

Brilliant thread and descriptions. This will be fun!

 

[Source]

Is this just a card/ban trap thread?

Teachers Pet- The poster that is shown the most favoritism. Allowed to get away with the most card-able or ban-able posts with little to no repercussions.

 

[luckyshot]

Great job on OP, @Limbo Pete . I nominate myself for everything.

 

[My Spot]

No Best Meltdown category?

 

[Cubo de Sangre]

Who pays enough attention to even form an opinion?

 

[Stop Being Greedy]

The Starman Memorial Maximum Turtle Award: A brand new award designed for those that display extraordinary levels of forum cowardice, this particular category goes for someone that completely abandoned a thread, position, or just general human dignity in the face of being completely and utterly besmirched. The most worthy of consideration are those that preface their flight with excessive bravado.

@Starman

 

[Social Distance Warrior]

Teachers Pet- The poster this is shown the most favoritism. Allowed to get away with the most card-able or ban-able posts without repercussions.

 

[My Spot]

@Starman

He's been posting in other forums the whole time too. Just pathetic.

 

[Social Distance Warrior]

Ii

• Most Shitfaced: Sure to be a hotly contested category given the number of stumbling drunks falling all over this place.
• e.

I was pretty Fu*ked up on election night. I think I win this category.

 

[Limbo Pete]

I was pretty Fu*ked up on election night. I think I win this category.

Based on the composition of that quote, you're fucked up right now

 

[Don the grifter]

He's been posting in other forums the whole time too. Just pathetic.

Interestingly, some admin came in and said they weren't going to put the excellent Starman fade-into-bushes meme into the animated smilies because they didn't think it would be good to humiliate a poster like that. Now, cue the forum-cowardice award named after him...

 

[PolishHeadlock2]

This exchange should win an award.

"To anger a conservative, lie to them. To anger a liberal, tell them the truth." ~Teddy Roosevelt

The irony of you posting this is just so rich

https://www.factcheck.org/2019/05/unverified-teddy-roosevelt-quotation-lives-on/

Hasn’t been confirmed either way but the quote is spot on.

Its almost certainly a fake quote and not only is it fake its also misleading since Teddy was progressive by the standards of the day and even ran as a third party candidate because he didn't think the Republican nominee was progressive enough. From the link

You never proved he didn't say it. The point wasn't the source anyways, the quote is powerful and obvious.

Yet your hypocrisy known no bounds. You and your ilk supported a Shampeachment based entirely on hearsay with no actual evidence anything was said regarding Quid pro quo. Pretty comical hearing the group that supported the greatest attack on this nation in partisan hackery whining about a quote.

Appropriate, since this was never said by Teddy Roosevelt.

He basically proved his own bullshit quote wrong right after. I told him the truth that it was fake and instead of admitting it and being mad at whoever told him the lie he instead got annoyed with me because I told him the truth

 

[Gregolian]

I nominate myself for both best and worst poster as I can shitpost with the best of them.