Finally have a chance to sit down and watch this thing.
Nattie vs Becky:
There are plenty of people out there who will tell you these two women are good workers. Those people are either liars or retarded...possibly both...most likely Quebecois. This was slow, awkward, and sloppy...trying to put on a chain wrestling catch style match in the beginning...Suzuki vs Shibata this ain't. Becky getting lost and not knowing how to throw on a leglock was funny. Apparently rope breaks no longer work in submission matches...seems like a silly addition to the rules, but whatever. I think they spent more time in each others finishers than they did out. This was crap. At least it was curtain jerking where it belonged instead of main eventing.
I can never remember this announcer chicks name, but she sucks at her job. Trish looks God awful. Fuck you Yoga! Eat a combined bag of Gutter & Bubba dicks!
Dolph vs Oldberg:
Everything about Dolph screams "time to check the fridge for snacks, because nothing that's about to happen matters." The logical side of my brain realizes that Oldberg not headbutting the door is a good thing...and yet I can't help but be disappointed. Two no sells of the superkick and Dolph is dead...I approve. Apparently Oldberg speared Dolph into The Land of Make-CTE. 2 squashes in one night...I approve. Dolph still talking...how do you need this much padding on a show with 800 singles matches? 3 squashes for the price of one...nothing less than Dolph deserves. Moving on finally.
Xavier Wonder? Rapping Maverick...
AJ vs Spotmonkochet:
It's a good thing they haven't done this match 4 times in the last month...because then it wouldn't mean much...wait...they did do this match over and over again on Raw? Well, Bubba and Gutter dicks for everyone then. Why do I get the feeling there's some dorky reason for Ricochet's new gear? AJ is as good as it gets. Ricochet kills time between his big spots. I hope AJ wears off on him and he realizes that everything you do should matter in the match, not just the big spots. Probably not though. This was ok...would have been better if they hadn't done it so many times lately...it also makes the booking seem dumb when AJ constantly needs help...since the feud started with AJ winning clean by himself. Vintage backwards booking!
So apparently we have these segments with The Street Profits on every show because they're "cool."
Ric...just stop...it's just sad at this point, and I'm pretty sure at least 12 of your ex-wives saw you on this show and are calling their lawyers to come after you for back alimony since you just got a paycheck.
Ember vs Bayley:
This feud seemed a lot more interesting before they had Bliss stop Ember's momentum. So now either she looses and goes back to being a nobody in catering...or Bayley wins by beating a 2nd tier Diva...good job guys! Bayley's the best woman on the roster who's not Japanese. Only Asuka and Io are better than her. She doesn't get enough credit for being good...also dat ass...also #hoeassbayleynow. This was pretty average...these two didn't click.
Fattie vs Shane:
Nothing screams blue collar hero fighting against the evil corporate man like a whiny dumpy Quebecois.
Oh no...a swerve person at ringside! All this running out of the ring is going to give Shane a heart attack. This was boring and took way too long. They did the hand the ref the chair and kick the guy in the jimmy while his back is turned spot two nights in a row...eh it's still funny. Moving on.
Charlotte vs Trish:
Fun trivia fact...there's more plastic between these two than all of the Legos in Europe. Both their faces look like scenes from House of Wax. This was just kind of there...it was too long. Next.
Orton vs Kofi:
Man...just...Jeebus...I mean...sigh...be quick please! Please? Not even Bubba wants to see this shit. Is the crowd dueling chants of "Kofi's stupid," and "Randy sucks?" <Lmaoo> I promise not to make fun of Canada for at least an hour...maybe two! That doesn't include French Canada though. It's almost like a hush has fallen over the crowd..."Kofi's stupid, Randy sucks!' <Lmaoo> Even for an Orton match this is boring...and there's a non finish so they'll proibably do it again next month..woohoo! How dare that evil Randy Orton look at Kofi's family...who are seated in the front row...and how dare he...not say anything to them or make any threatening gestures...God damn it this is stupid.
Finn vs Fattie # 2:
Nothing screams terror like a fat man in striped pants and a bad clown mask. Put Finn back with the Club as their CW champ and elevate that title...and the fiend can eat a bag of Bubba and Gutter dicks...this crap is stupid...anyone who likes it is retarded...and they can all go fuck themselves with the Young Bucks. Fuck your fake Bray head lantern while your at it. Are they chanting holy shit at his entrance? I take it back...fuck you Canada and everyone in it!
Brock vs Fraggle:
Seems like people like yelling burn it down more than they actually like Seth at this point. Brock swinging him around by the tape was cool. And Seth is champ again...yay...exciting...
This show sucked.
...your girlfriend has a girlfriend.
