Social Do you lie or do you tell the truth?

[AldoStillGoat]

Biggest liars and shysters with questionable morals I know are Christians, especially Mormons. And people who "always say it like it is" are proven to be extremely insecure.

So you got some red flags going for you, boyo.

That said, I can relate. Telling a lie literally feels like a burden, some shit you now need to keep track of. At the same time - right now, I'm of the opinion that truth is earned. Unless you're untouchable, being honest with somebody who could get offended and resent you for it is like giving a weapon to your enemy. They'll just use it against you. Cause truth can force people out of their comfort zone and they'll fight and destroy others to not have to do it. Meanwhile, being honest with a person who's earned it can help them out big time. And when to tell the truth? I think it's like "when the student is ready, master appears" kind of thing (not that you're a master, but the logic engine of this example applies). When they'll wanna hear it, you'll say it. Just my experience, so far.

Also, as you'll age, you'll realize that, yeah - you may have been right when you thought you were right. But the annoying part will be the realization that there are multiple right answers. And it can differ for everyone. So when you say "I always tell the truth! I always say it like it is!", if you're not careful with your wording and attitude, you can make people feel like you're forcing them into something. And you shouldn't really mess with people's personal path.

Consider learning how to keep things to yourself or add some legalese and nothing speak to your vocabulary to get out of situations without lying. Upgrade your sense of humor as well. You can drop quick truth bombs here there via "it's funny cause it's true". People are less resistant to you being honest if it's done with comedy.

That said, I post on sherdog and just had to get a new job cause my old career, effectively, failed. So maybe... not the right person to be sharing advice.

I’m not perfect and I’ve made plenty of terrible decisions in my life. My morals for the most part are good but even then no one is perfect. I agree on the Christians being shiesty. I would definitely not classify myself as insecure though… but I mean everyone is insecure about something in their life.

Thank you for the post and for taking the time to share. Your post is gold. Going to wake up tomorrow and re read it for sure. Probably gonna bookmark this thread and read everything everyone said.

I appreciate everyone’s input in this thread. Please everyone share more if you can.

 

[BigSexy444]

Based on my few interactions with you I am skeptical about the IQ part. But good for you if you are handsome, though.

Do people not feel ridiculous when they post shit like that? Zero self awareness <45>

 

[ramsiN]

man as i was growing up, well into my 20s, i literally lied about everything. id never go huge, just little white lies, but it was always to make myself look better than i should in certain positions naturally. ego is a bitch.

i dont know what hit me in my mid 20s, but i just decided i can no longer lie even if it means my life is on the line. i literally cannot lie anymore, even when i tell myself if you are asked so and so, say this, when the time comes my brain tells me ok nows the time throw this white lie out, but i cant lie nemore. its like some disease the truth comes out of my mouth each time even when i know its about to cost me. quite honestly i prefer it this way. 1 lie leads to millions of lies over time in which you will eventually fuck the story up and get yourself caught up, not worth looking stupid in those situations just to prop yourself up a bit in earlier situations.

 

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

Do people not feel ridiculous when they post shit like that? Zero self awareness <45>

TS and I have a history. But he s being reasonable today.

 

[Otto!]

I was raised to be truthful, no matter the consequences. I served in the military for 33 years and I never considered lying, and I came down hard on anyone who did.
People lie because they’re afraid, but it’s one thing I can’t to,erate from anyone.

 

[genecop]

 

[Sweater of AV]

I try to tell the truth or just not say anything. Often the "truth" is colored with some amount of lying though. It's very difficult to be completely truthful in all situations.

 

[TheTickG]

Do you tell the truth or do you lie?

I tell the truth about everything to a fault.

My parents raised me Christian with good morals (I'm an agnostic now), I try to help people and I always tell them the truth no matter if it hurts their feelings or not. Obviously, I don't take this out of proportion and hurt people but while some people will conceal information to glean benefits from others, I'll tell them the truth in order to help the other person get ahead which usually leads to no direct benefit to me and makes people angry at me for telling them how they can get ahead. Other people would lie or conceal information to these individuals in order to make them feel good/not make them feel bad. When people lie, it angers me, I then point the truth out and then I want to get away.

Do I tell the truth because I've been manipulated to tell the truth by my parents and now it's second nature? Or did my parents want me to have a solid foundation knowing that lies will lead you to trouble in the future? Or is it for personal benefit? Is it because I tell them the truth in order for them to get ahead so that my friendship with them will be more fruitful for both of us? Is this a way for me to feel superiority over others? Am I so far up my own ass because I'm smart/think too much that I find it hard to connect with others? Is it because I come from a collectivist culture and therefore I'm looking to help others before I help myself? All of the above? Is this a healthy outlook or should I be lying more in order to benefit from others? Does lying lead to short term benefit but long term misery?

When people criticize me I take it pretty well and I always question myself and my actions. I'm honest with myself because I feel like you need to be honest with yourself in order to be as successful as possible.

I'm asking these questions because for the most part I'm a lone wolf with hardly any friends because of these traits while I see other people who are more dishonest and manipulative with tons of friends and opportunities. I basically get 0 opportunities because no one wants to benefit someone they don't like. I have a few friends that I can be upfront and honest with and we're cool but in general you could call me a loner who spends his friday and saturdays alone working on my programming to get ahead or watching MMA and chatting on Sherdog. I'm above average in attractiveness, 5'11, above average IQ, athletic but I still feel like I'm different than others and can't connect with the general population.

This might be a question better suited for a psychologist (psychiatrist? lol) but I feel like it would be hard to get answers to these questions because I doubt most people scrutinize themselves or others to this level to begin with. I'd have to search pretty far and wide to get the right type of psychologist that could help me answer the above questions. This is why I turn to Sherdog armchair psychologists. Please let me know what you think, it's highly appreciated. Any and all comments are welcome. Especially for the older folk who have more experience in life.


TLDR:

Do you lie to others? Or tell them the truth? Do you lie to yourself or are you honest with yourself? Why do you do what you do?

Maybe you're just confusing the phrase, "tell the truth," with "find ways to criticize."

 

[Streeter]

I used to lie frequently ... then I starting getting older an realized telling lies just fucks shit up so I try to be as honest as I can be as it really is the best thi g long run.

 

[My name is]

I'm pretty much honest about everything and somehow that makes me an asshole or a dick

 

[Alphaboy]

This is such a black and white thread. Lol.

 

[AFanNotAFighter]

I lie to myself but tell the truth to others.

 

[chimpoehurricane]

Do you tell the truth or do you lie?

I tell the truth about everything to a fault.

My parents raised me Christian with good morals (I'm an agnostic now), I try to help people and I always tell them the truth no matter if it hurts their feelings or not. Obviously, I don't take this out of proportion and hurt people but while some people will conceal information to glean benefits from others, I'll tell them the truth in order to help the other person get ahead which usually leads to no direct benefit to me and makes people angry at me for telling them how they can get ahead. Other people would lie or conceal information to these individuals in order to make them feel good/not make them feel bad. When people lie, it angers me, I then point the truth out and then I want to get away.

Do I tell the truth because I've been manipulated to tell the truth by my parents and now it's second nature? Or did my parents want me to have a solid foundation knowing that lies will lead you to trouble in the future? Or is it for personal benefit? Is it because I tell them the truth in order for them to get ahead so that my friendship with them will be more fruitful for both of us? Is this a way for me to feel superiority over others? Am I so far up my own ass because I'm smart/think too much that I find it hard to connect with others? Is it because I come from a collectivist culture and therefore I'm looking to help others before I help myself? All of the above? Is this a healthy outlook or should I be lying more in order to benefit from others? Does lying lead to short term benefit but long term misery?

When people criticize me I take it pretty well and I always question myself and my actions. I'm honest with myself because I feel like you need to be honest with yourself in order to be as successful as possible.

I'm asking these questions because for the most part I'm a lone wolf with hardly any friends because of these traits while I see other people who are more dishonest and manipulative with tons of friends and opportunities. I basically get 0 opportunities because no one wants to benefit someone they don't like. I have a few friends that I can be upfront and honest with and we're cool but in general you could call me a loner who spends his friday and saturdays alone working on my programming to get ahead or watching MMA and chatting on Sherdog. I'm above average in attractiveness, 5'11, above average IQ, athletic but I still feel like I'm different than others and can't connect with the general population.

This might be a question better suited for a psychologist (psychiatrist? lol) but I feel like it would be hard to get answers to these questions because I doubt most people scrutinize themselves or others to this level to begin with. I'd have to search pretty far and wide to get the right type of psychologist that could help me answer the above questions. This is why I turn to Sherdog armchair psychologists. Please let me know what you think, it's highly appreciated. Any and all comments are welcome. Especially for the older folk who have more experience in life.


TLDR:

Do you lie to others? Or tell them the truth? Do you lie to yourself or are you honest with yourself? Why do you do what you do?

I'm mostly honest but in thr political climate we're in as well as workplace corporate environment, I avoid the subject all together. Let the delusional believe they are all stunning and brave snow flakes. Insert participation trophy.

 

[ralphc1]

People who claim to always tell the truth usually mean they say what they believe to be true and it is often not the actual truth. TS claims to be good looking and intelligent but what standards are being used to make these declarations. Are the comparisons to average looks and intelligence?

I try to educate myself to find the truth where many people choose to live in ignorance to preserve their version of what they believe to be true. Very often what people believe to be true has no bearing on what is true. It is difficult for people to interact with others who have different beliefs and therefore have different truths.

 

[Cpt Migraine]

I don't lie unless necessary and the truth is more of a tool than an absolute to me..

Telling someone they're ugly, stupid, won't reach their goals is not very productive and just a matter of my opinion.. i can only speak for my own perspective and thinking my perspective is the truth seems a bit optimistic..

Say getting stopped for speeding "do you know why we're stopping you" - no idea officer.. i will lie because getting a ticket or losing my licence won't benefit me and it's the officers job to have evidence..

Say a girl asks if a dress makes her look fat - not at all.. (it's never the dresses fault.. you look fat because you are) but hurting someone looking for a bit of confirmation is rude..

 

[THEfightsAREfixed]

I lie sometimes but as a general rule attempt to keep it to a necessary minimum. And for reference I am very attractive physically and beautiful for a male (face and bod).

 

[lowlife]

that's a bit of a cop out. You can be honest and still be liked, approach matters, among other things.

 

[I Am Legion]

I lie like a rug. I tell the truth to those I love, but even then with lies woven in.

 

[StonedLemur]

I am not the awkward type. I'm a natural leader and can be put into a room, break the ice, have people talking and liking me. I have no issues having a conversation with girls and guys. Highly confident and I can read social cues. What I can't do is lie to people which is where people start not liking me. If I see something not true, I point it out. I have a decently analytical, logical brain. I excel in math and I can't draw for shit. I've played basketball and other sports, weightlifted and I watch fighting. In high school, I was decently popular. This shit sounds like I'm bragging but I'm honestly trying to paint a picture to get an accurate representation of me. I'd really appreciate if you read the thread thoroughly and gave me a more in depth answer. I know you're a smart guy.

I do think however everyone can benefit from being around others and that will definitely help anyone fit in rather than fit out. I do learn things from others at work socially, but I still have my truthful side which hinders me. Like at work, I correct some of my peers and they get angry. When I get corrected in regards to a critical thinking issue, I take it on the chin and try to do better. They play the political games and I can't seem to get on their level because my first inclination is to find the root of the problem (programming or otherwise) whereas they are trying to find out how to use the situation to win the power struggle against me.

Saying you're a natural leader, handsome, above average intellect etc etc etc, is awkward all on it's own sir.

 

[Fugazy]

Absolutely agree there. I've been shunned by male groups because they see me as a threat or more as a outspoken alpha type. Having an edge in life over others while also being blunt/intense/truthful can lead to exclusion. That's a good point.

You are not lying bro.

Im the type of dude who might pull a bitch anywhere. And a lot of guys don’t like that. I’m not rich, but I’m doing OK, and I can only really mess with a few friends I’ve had since my teens because of that.

I would literally never pull someone else’s chick, but when I meet new dudes, friends of friends type situation, they tend to get salty because bitches I don’t know tend to like me.

Im sorry women like how I look and I walk like I know how to fold up a woman. I don’t know anything else.

Edit:! And I’m almost never even thinking of women when I go out. It’s just not like that for me. I don’t even want to bother and other things are taking up space in my mind.