Social Kid Got Attacked At Recess

[Oblivian]

Why everyone always going into narrow extremes. "Character building" public school can definitely be a good thing, socially much better than private, to learn to difusse conflicts, come in contact with all sorts of folks, know when to stand up for yourself and how etc.... It can lead to substances/trauma but only (or waaay more predominately) as usual it comes down to guidance/parents. With a good parent or grandparent to talk to how to tackle it, the kid will surely learn more about how to deal with various folks later in life than in a more isolated private s-kool.

This. I'm surprised by some of the responses in here. Public school is dealing with the general public which is going to be a necessary skill in life. Sure, if the public school is absolute shit and dangerous I get it. But all public schools have problems, just like most other extracurricular activities like sports will have issues. Learn to navigate them because you'll deal with it in life.

 

[chrisdiaz]

Regardless of the school policy, my home policy was dont start anything but dont put up with any bullshit either. Does your kid have any friends? Being apart of a group usually helps in not getting bullied. Its probably different for girls but I got in quite a few fights throughout schooling. Its just something that came with horomones and in general just being idiot kids. I wouldnt say its the schools fault either, this shits been happening forever.

 

[chrisdiaz]

Lol at everyone here thinking private school is some haven to make angel adults. Some of the sluttiest girls I dated were from the most prestigious schools in my area.

 

[Canadian Kicker]

6, first grade. It was a tackle and choking.

We are talking about a first grader getting pushed to the ground?

This is what kids do. This is how they learn. There is no such thing as a "zero bullying" policy, not an effective one anyway.
Kids should be allowed to work this out at this age. It is where they learn life is not fair, how to fight through adversity, how to stand up for yourself; bullies learn limits, empathy, and with any luck that there is always someone bigger and badder.

The "zero bullying" policy only gives young kids the impression that they are protected. The bullies find out over time that this is bullshit and other kids are left with no coping skills to deal with the problem.

Parents today are of the opinion that their child should not get hurt, embarrassed, shamed, or basically do anything they don't want to do. It gives the child this impression that their is this fake bubble out there that is going to protect them. I know your child is young but realize this is part of growing up for both kids. Learning this now while nobody really gets hurt is a lot better than living in a protective bubble and trying to learn these lessons when they are teenagers and someone can get really hurt.

 

[VulcanNervPinch]

Lol at everyone here thinking private school is some haven to make angel adults.

I'm doing a lot harder LMFAO at the people here acting like schools used to be calm and peaceful, with no disrespect or violence ever.

 

[Sweater of AV]

We are talking about a first grader getting pushed to the ground?

This is what kids do. This is how they learn. There is no such thing as a "zero bullying" policy, not an effective one anyway.
Kids should be allowed to work this out at this age. It is where they learn life is not fair, how to fight through adversity, how to stand up for yourself; bullies learn limits, empathy, and with any luck that there is always someone bigger and badder.

The "zero bullying" policy only gives young kids the impression that they are protected. The bullies find out over time that this is bullshit and other kids are left with no coping skills to deal with the problem.

Parents today are of the opinion that their child should not get hurt, embarrassed, shamed, or basically do anything they don't want to do. It gives the child this impression that their is this fake bubble out there that is going to protect them. I know your child is young but realize this is part of growing up for both kids. Learning this now while nobody really gets hurt is a lot better than living in a protective bubble and trying to learn these lessons when they are teenagers and someone can get really hurt.

There has never been a time where tackling and choking was treated as "kids just being kids." I'm not sure why you just referred to it as "pushed to the ground."

I'm also of the mindset that kids have to learn about certain things, but there's an obvious line where a teacher should step in. Choking is past that line.

 

[deadshot138]

We are talking about a first grader getting pushed to the ground?

This is what kids do. This is how they learn. There is no such thing as a "zero bullying" policy, not an effective one anyway.
Kids should be allowed to work this out at this age. It is where they learn life is not fair, how to fight through adversity, how to stand up for yourself; bullies learn limits, empathy, and with any luck that there is always someone bigger and badder.

The "zero bullying" policy only gives young kids the impression that they are protected. The bullies find out over time that this is bullshit and other kids are left with no coping skills to deal with the problem.

Parents today are of the opinion that their child should not get hurt, embarrassed, shamed, or basically do anything they don't want to do. It gives the child this impression that their is this fake bubble out there that is going to protect them. I know your child is young but realize this is part of growing up for both kids. Learning this now while nobody really gets hurt is a lot better than living in a protective bubble and trying to learn these lessons when they are teenagers and someone can get really hurt.

I told her to fill the playground with uppercuts she's already got the victim mindset instilled by the school

 

[Canadian Kicker]

There has never been a time where tackling and choking was treated as "kids just being kids." I'm not sure why you just referred to it as "pushed to the ground."

I'm also of the mindset that kids have to learn about certain things, but there's an obvious line where a teacher should step in. Choking is past that line.

Then you obviously have never watched children for that long. Hell every kids I know has been tackled, choked, tombstones, stunnered, close lined. You acting like a 6 year old kid hit a power double and then locked in a RNC and put them to sleep. lol

 

[deadshot138]

Then you obviously have never watched children for that long. Hell every kids I know has been tackled, choked, tombstones, stunnered, close lined. You acting like a 6 year old kid hit a power double and then locked in a RNC and put them to sleep. lol

Per the teaching assistant on the playground, this is almost exactly what happened, sans the unconsciousness.

 

[preppypyro]

6, first grade. It was a tackle and choking.

Yeah that's a tough age. Some kids are just learning to get along and whatnot. The tackle isn't much to worry about but the choking thing could be worrying.

We ran into a similar thing with my daughter. My daughter is the nicest kid, she gets along with everyone and thinks about everyone before herself. A friend of hers got mad at her and started kicking her on the bus, they were 5 years old.

Like you, I was mad as hell. We went for a meeting with the kids parent and both kids and in the end it was just the kid acting out, and we managed to get it all solved. I told my kid the same thing, if someone lays their hands on you, give them a whooping. (I then taught my kids a bit of wrestling and boxing)

Keep your eye on the other kid, and if it keeps up, keep talking to your kids school principal. Getting things documented is important.

If it's just one incident, I wouldn't worry too too much about it. Kids play rough on the playgrounds, even the good kids sometimes.

 

[Sweater of AV]

Then you obviously have never watched children for that long. Hell every kids I know has been tackled, choked, tombstones, stunnered, close lined. You acting like a 6 year old kid hit a power double and then locked in a RNC and put them to sleep. lol

You're pretty obviously talking out of your ass. I've actually raised children. I'd be shocked if you've had any sort of role looking after them.

It's difficult to know how bad it actually was but there's never been a time when bullying and choking another child was deemed acceptable. Horsing around and wrestling when both are ok with it is fine but you're obviously a clueless mess.

 

[Canadian Kicker]

I told her to fill the playground with uppercuts she's already got the victim mindset instilled by the school

Great idea. Start with avoiding and fight back when needed.
If that doesn't work, talk to someone a little older.

 

[jx820]

Sorry to hear. I get the impulse.

I went to a pretty terrible public school. Now I pay a stupid amount of property tax to live in a very good school district. Even at that I'm putting my kids into martial arts.

 

[Canadian Kicker]

You're pretty obviously talking out of your ass. I've actually raised children. I'd be shocked if you've had any sort of role looking after them.

It's difficult to know how bad it actually was but there's never been a time when bullying and choking another child was deemed acceptable. Horsing around and wrestling when both are ok with it is fine but you're obviously a clueless mess.

Well then I guess your shocked. I have been working with kids for over 20 years and have been involved in hundreds their lives.
You're right It is difficult to know how bad it actually was, I'll give you that. I base most of my assumption on that fact that these kids are 6.

If the child has contusions of the back of her head from getting slammed and marks around her throat the next day from getting chokes, I apologize for my earlier comment. In my experience, I have yet to see a 6 year old capable of that.

That being said, your talking out of your ass by assuming that children are only going to do what is acceptable and that adults will put a stop to anything that is unacceptable.

 

[deadshot138]

Well then I guess your shocked. I have been working with kids for over 20 years and have been involved in hundreds their lives.
You're right It is difficult to know how bad it actually was, I'll give you that. I base most of my assumption on that fact that these kids are 6.

If the child has contusions of the back of her head from getting slammed and marks around her throat the next day from getting chokes, I apologize for my earlier comment. In my experience, I have yet to see a 6 year old capable of that.

That being said, your talking out of your ass by assuming that children are only going to do what is acceptable and that adults will put a stop to anything that is unacceptable.

No marks and she didn't even cry when it happened. However, being tough doesn't mean it's open season to physically assault you.

 

[Rob Battisti]

Character building?



I suppose you could maybe ask your wife what in hell kind of "character" she thinks your daughter is going to build from childhood trauma, physical violence and poor education, because traditionally that tends to build the character of serious trust issues, substance abuse and self harm.

Bingo. It’s private school for me.

My little buddy is going to be in wrestling and bjj when he gets a little older.

 

[Sweater of AV]

Well then I guess your shocked. I have been working with kids for over 20 years and have been involved in hundreds their lives.

I hope you're not teaching them English or how to interact with each other.

You're right It is difficult to know how bad it actually was, I'll give you that. I base most of my assumption on that fact that these kids are 6.

That's a pretty terrible method of deduction.

If the child has contusions of the back of her head from getting slammed and marks around her throat the next day from getting chokes, I apologize for my earlier comment. In my experience, I have yet to see a 6 year old capable of that.

The fact that this is the line you draw for judging whether something is serious leads me to believe you're either lying or absolutely terrible at what you do. If they exist then my condolences to the kids who have to be around you.

That being said, your talking out of your ass by assuming that children are only going to do what is acceptable and that adults will put a stop to anything that is unacceptable.

I never said either of those things.

I'm going to be completely honest. Stop "working with kids" immediately.

 

[Canadian Kicker]

No marks and she didn't even cry when it happened. However, being tough doesn't mean it's open season to physically assault you.

First that is great news. Traumatizing for sure but good there was no major physical harm.

As for the future absolutely not. I'm just saying don't expect the school to help much in this.
They will not dish out any punishment or at least any punishment strong enough to actually correct behavior.

Teach her to avoid these type of people if at all possible, fight back if needed and reach out for help if necessary.
Make friends with older kids, nothing fixes a bully better than realizing they could get hurt too.
Especially in female vs male situations like this, I would also teach her to scream and make as much noise as possible. Most prefer to do their bulling in secret, things change when they all the sudden are in the public spotlight.

 

[plataoplombo]

I know what you're going through Sherbro. My daughter had to deal with one some kid with behavioral and aggression issues. He twisted her arm pretty bad a few weeks ago and yesterday she slapped him for instigating stuff. Told her to be careful, don't start anything, but if he tries to her her to just take his head off. Was that the best advice, probably no but dealing with the school in the past, not many choices. It's either let your child get hurt and not get in trouble or defend yourself and hopefully won't get in trouble.

In the past when we've talked to the school about one of our older kids we didn't get any help. They try to resolve things but their strategies are pretty pointless. Eventually our older daughter got into fight with this other girl and both got in trouble even though our daughter didn't start it. According to the school they have a no fighting policy and you have to wait until you get hit 5 times before you can strike back. At that point there was nothing to be said.

 

[ChickenBrother]

No marks and she didn't even cry when it happened. However, being tough doesn't mean it's open season to physically assault you.

Sounds like you have a tough little girl. BJJ has its limitations but is pretty much tailor made for schoolyard bully situations. I know boy on girl aggression is different but knowing how to pull guard and hold off the attacker is money. I've so far been unsuccessful getting my 5 yo daughter to join her 7 yo older brother at BJJ but she's getting there. She wants a pink gi and I told her she could have unicorns on it or whatever the hell she wants. At least she knows what guard is from wrestling around with her brother in the house (only when she agrees to wrestle).

My son has already used his training to good effect. When he was 6, a 5 yo got mad at him during some game and started repeatedly trying to hit him. The teacher told me he "wrestled him down" and put him in what sounds like mount, then just sat on his chest without hurting him until a teacher broke it up. He knows armbars, kimuras and RNCs but didn't feel the need to go there. The teacher also had the common sense to understand he didn't start it and he didn't get in trouble. My son had also been previously bullied by the biggest kid in his class, but they're good now because the bully knows my kid can handle himself.

Of course if altercations like this happen every day, you're in a toxic environment but every kid should be prepared to deal with them when they occur - which they will sooner or later.