Oh man, this one is funny. So Mike would often take his sister's dog Cane for a walk he loved Cane and would always let me know when they had been out walking so the story starts like this.
Mike:
'Saw Cane today. Was raining like a bitch. It slowed down and I took him out for a walk with an umbrella. not for too long. He took a big dump then we basically went back in.'
Arq:
Nice, nothing like taking a big dump in the rain
Mike:
haha. It wasnt raining too hard but the ground was soggy as fook. It's so saturated from weeks of rain.
Mike:
Then like an hr later it completely stopped so I took him out for a real walk. I figured even though he already took a dump that I would bring another plastic shit bag in case he had to go again. sure enough he did. So I tied it up. Went for a long walk and then the mother fucker shits again. Now what am I gonna do? I only have one bag, filled with shit, and it's knotted up.
so I decide to use the top part of that bag and just kinda hold it till I got home. But there isnt a lot of room at the top of the bag, but still thought I could finesse it. WRONG!! I got a thumb full of dog shit. YUCK!! Not there's not much I can do cause Cane is on the leash and I cant really try to solve the situation, so I resign my fate that my thumb is covered in dog shit. Walked rapidly home. Cane didnt like it cause.. ya know.. important dog stuff like smell the reeds in the water, make sure there are no alligators, piss on every tree and bush, keep the dragons away, investigate every sound.. etc.
but fuck it man, I hauled ass home and got the hose and rinsed it off, then washed my hands like Howard Hugues in that movie.
(this is the picture he drew to describe the scene <Lmaoo> we would often do things like that to describe a story, a quick drawing or a quick shoop)
Arq:
Dam bro, I love the optimism. You took a dog for a walk with only one shit bag? I mean you deserve to get shit on your thumb for only taking one bag
I always took multiple bags just in case. I used 4 one time when taking Ralphie for a walk (Ralphie is my cousin's pug) little bastard had 4 shits and they were big ones too I couldn't believe all that shit came from this little pug.
Cane looks like a big dog too so I bet he takes monster dumps. Most people would have just left the shit also (dirty fuckers) I hate it when people don't pick up after their dogs.
You're a hero bro, a hero with dog shit on his thumb but a hero.
Mike:
Yea I fooked up. I normally take 3. Overly optimistic for sure.
Bloody hell Ralphie!! He's the King!!
Yea Cane is 60 something pounds. He's is not huge but he is a big dog. Sometimes he does close to human sized shits.
Mike:
I deserve an award!!
Arq:
I got you bro!
Mike:
wonderful!! I will cherish this forever and put it in my boxes of trophies in my attic. thanks man.
Arq:
It's an amazing story bro. I wonder who will play you in the movie.
Mike:
Frank Mir could play me of course.
You could play Cane.
