Hey all,
This is my first post. I'm a 40 something year old two-stripe white belt in BJJ, and I love it. Do I get smashed by some of the younger guys? Absolutely! But I like to think I hold my own against the majority of other white belts. More importantly, I've made more new friends in the last year than ever before in my life. It's like I joined a fraternity. Outside class, some of the guys come over to watch UFC, hit the bars, take road trips, etc.
Joining the gym transformed my life. Part of my success is that I'm not a super competitive guy. I prefer making friends, and I always try to make newcomers welcome.
However, there is one man in class, ten years older than I am who has become very clingy. He constantly wants to be my partner. At first, I didn't mind, but the dude weighs a good 50lbs more than I do and is at least 6 inches taller than I am, so I often feel squashed by weight as his techniques aren't very good.
In one recent class, every time we were expected to get a new rolling partner, he would rush over to me. Four rounds in a row, I told him I had another partner until he asked, " Are you avoiding me?"
I said, " Yes!"
I thought he would get the hint to leave me alone, but he doesn't. Yesterday, I was rolling with a guy my size, and the clingy gentleman watched us like a hawk the whole time. He then came over to ask why I don't roll that aggressively with him. I said, " I have a hard time moving you, and the other bigger guys."
He seems oblivious. I've heard at least one other guy complain that this man just uses his weight and sometimes smells bad. He wears tight rash guards that highlight his gelatinous stomach which stands out in a gym full of guys who are in shape. It doesn't say " Pick me to train with you!"
Now that I've come right out and told this man that I avoid him, he's less friendly but still eyes me at rolling time, so I find myself quickly grabbing partners.
Thankfully I no longer have to roll with him every class, but why doesn't he leave me alone? When it's time for a class picture, he always wants to stand by me. When I'm changing in the locker room, he's got to change right next to me. Like, dude, go away. I try to give him as little eye contact as possible.
Since I am so open and friendly, I think he clings to me because some of the other guys straight up ignore him. Is this common in BJJ gyms?