I’ve read superior spider man and I know this argument but I never felt like it held up in either the comics or the movie. When he’s punching Ock in the movies, he sure doesn’t look like he’s holding back. And if he is strong enough to take his head off in those fights, he could just pinch his neck and hurt him enough to incapacitate him. He was fighting for aunt mays life and punching hard enough to break bricks.
In the comics, I always found that piece annoying as well. If he can punch hard enough to knock out an opponent but not kill them, that’s what he should do, rather than pat them with strikes that don’t do enough damage to do anything until accumulating.
He does *eventually* KO his opponents, usually, so him holding back always seemed silly.
It's a long established part of canon that Peter Parker is one of the nicest guys in the Marvel Universe. We're talking about the guy who
invented the, With Great Power comes Great Responsibilty - fuck off, Madam Webb! - Trope. His driving force is an almost pathologically need to save other people because he couldn't save Uncle Ben, and later Gwen Stacy.
This crosses over into how Peter treats the Villains, even when it really shouldn't.
Norman Osborn is a mad dog. Imagine the Joker, except much stronger and more intelligent. Norman has murdered Peter's first love, Gwen, and Peter and MJ's baby, along with God knows how many civilians. He once kidnapped Aunt May, drugged her and buried her alive in Uncle Ben's grave. He killed Flash Thompson, one of Peter's closest friends.
His time as Director of HAMMER saw him declare war on Asgard(and very nearly win). He's the only major Big Bad who is willing to work with the freaking
Red Skull, something even the Kingpin and Doctor Doom draw the line at. Few people who know old Stormin' Norman would have a problem with Spider-Man putting him down once and for all. But Peter refuses to kill the Green Goblin, even when Norman himself begs him to do it.
One of my favourite Spidey - Goblin stories involved Norman trying to commit Suicide by Cop and goad Spider-Man into finally killing him. Even after all the truly horrific shit he's done, Spider-Man still refused to take that final step. After a brutal fight, both men are sitting side by side on the ground, exhausted and injured.
Norman, "You know, Peter, I wasn't always going to be the Green Goblin. When I first got my powers, I was thinking of calling myself...Mr Coffee".
(Beat)
Peter(laughing hysterically)"Run for your lives! It's the terrifying Mr Coffee!"
Norman(holding his sides)"Oh God, don't make me laugh, Peter - my ribs!"
Spider-Man has killed less people than
Batman. He will almost always pull his punches, unless he's fighting someone way out of his weight class, like Juggernaut. As to your point about Spidey simply choking out Doc Ock, most versions of Spider-Man have no formal martial arts training. That's one of the reasons Spider-Man rarely shuts up during a fight; he's not planning anything. He fights purely on instinct. While he could have beat Doc Ock by RNC, the thought simply never occured to him.