Help Me Understand This (Insane) Recent Encounter With A Female

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HughPhug said:
Shit I'm not sure, I may have missed it already, I think it's tomorrow though

I haven't even considered it yet to be honest!
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If you enter i'm gonna vote of course, but honestly, for the first time i'm dreading a shoop thread...just gutted for Tony as it is.

On the other hand, could be just what the doctor ordered...
 
tonysmasseuse said:
If you enter i'm gonna vote of course, but honestly, for the first time i'm dreading a shoop thread...just gutted for Tony as it is.

On the other hand, could be just what the doctor ordered...
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Yeah it was a tough one, I'm a big Gaethje fan but I desperately wanted to see Tony vs Khabib for undisputed, hands down best LW on the planet. I didn't want either to lose, fucking hate those fights
 
You bought some whore a candle from Amazon after talking for a day or two via texts? This :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: weird.
 
HughPhug said:
Yeah it was a tough one, I'm a big Gaethje fan but I desperately wanted to see Tony vs Khabib for undisputed, hands down best LW on the planet. I didn't want either to lose, fucking hate those fights
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Yeah. *sigh*

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ultramanhyata said:
Ok. This is going to be my final post in this thread. So, back by popular demand - but for one night only. I am shooting y’all straight here. No BS.

First, the central gist of my original OP is true. But, yes, I did manipulate some facts for entertainment value and storytelling purposes.

Second, I never anticipated in my wildest imaginings that someone (or many someones) would directly connect the candle to the vibrator reference. As I stated once before - the candle I bought was not candlestick style. It was short and stout and set in a glass jar with a lid. Anyone who actually saw it would have known it wasn’t even remotely phallic.

But, of course, you don’t think of specifically explaining the dimensions of a candle in a story like this when you know the candle is irrelevant to your ultimate point. I was oblivious to the fact that a reader might envision a type of candle that could reasonably be used as a sex toy. (Though candles don’t vibrate. Which everyone knows. So unless you’re confusing dildos and vibrators it still makes zero sense to connect any type of candle to a vibrator. FYI.)

Third, the vibrator line was pre-planned. And the gift could have been a mug or a keychain or a book or anything else. The line still would have worked - had the set-up gone according to plan.

I thought to myself “When she thanks me for the Amazon candle I will say, ‘Candle? But I ordered you a vibrator??”

But she failed to text the word “candle” in her thank you. So the punch line got fucked up. She just said “Thank you for the gift”. So then I’m trying to think on my feet (mistake) wanting to salvage this decent joke and I write “Well I figured a woman can always use another vibrator.” Thinking she’s going to reply “But this is a candle.” And then I’m going to write, “Candle? Amazon must have screwed up my order.”

But she again does not reply as anticipated, just sending me a confused emoji at which point I try to cut my losses on the joke bombing by just entering back into a serious question about the candle.

However, thanks to the “glory” of Sherdog this one, single misinterpreted piece of the story has been escalated by group confabulation into me being the guy who bought a girl a candle, suggested she use it as a sex toy and was then so insulted by the fact that this “joke” totally creeped her out that I made a whole thread about it to share my righteous indignation with the world.

And this is the narrative that caused this thread to blow up beyond anything I ever even remotely imagined when I made it. But even if the entertainment is ultimately at my fucking expense at least I brought some enjoyment to some fellow MMA fans during a difficult time.

In the illustrious words of Mr. Max Holloway: It is what it is. Peace out, Sherbros.
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Damn.. you think very high of yourself for a guy who brags about fake stories in a karate forum.

You should get carded.

See you around idiot.
 
Kind of surprised by the reaction @ultramanhyata is receiving from the sherbros. My take is that the general user base here is using him sharing this tale as a way to elevate their own social prowess with the opposite gender. "I would never say such a thing to a fair tatted damsel I met over a bag of Alpo."

It's clear as day that the TS had no intention to bag this broad. My take is that he was testing the boundaries to see if this wicked city woman was cut from a rare cloth where she'd be suitable as a "friend with a hole." From a sub-conscious level he didn't wish to waste a nano-second further of his time, UNLESS she passed some crass litmus test. She in typical female fashion failed, turned the tables with the victim card, and made TS into some sort of scoundrel.

Dude did absolutely nothing wrong unless he actually was trying to coax himself into her pantalones. I don't think he honestly gave two shits unless she passed his thick skin test. In which case, she'd probably be elevated to a guest at a future outing with the fellas, nothing more.


Edit- Just got to the page where TS did admit he wanted to shag. Well disregard my text above. You done goofed. Probably couldve easily tagged and bagged just by discussing dogs for a few outings. Smh
 
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Son Ov Timett said:
Kind of surprised by the reaction @ultramanhyata is receiving from the sherbros. My take is that the general user base here is using him sharing this tale as a way to elevate their own social prowess with the opposite gender. "I would never say such a thing to a fair tatted damsel I met over a bag of Alpo."

It's clear as day that the TS had no intention to bag this broad. My take is that he was testing the boundaries to see if this wicked city woman was cut from a rare cloth where she'd be suitable as a "friend with a hole." From a sub-conscious level he didn't wish to waste a nano-second further of his time, UNLESS she passed some crass litmus test. She in typical female fashion failed, turned the tables with the victim card, and made TS into some sort of scoundrel.

Dude did absolutely nothing wrong unless he actually was trying to coax himself into her pantalones. I don't think he honestly gave two shits unless she passed his thick skin test. In which case, she'd probably be elevated to a guest at a future outing with the fellas, nothing more.


Edit- Just got to the page where TS did admit he wanted to shag. Well disregard my text above. You done goofed. Probably couldve easily tagged and bagged just by discussing dogs for a few outings. Smh
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Nice try @ultramanhyata
 
Without reading through 22 pages, was there ever an explanation as to why TS referenced a vibrator when he gave her a scented candle?

A) That's a creepy thing to say to someone
B) It's a confusing thing to say to someone (I still don't understand the association)
C) Sending her a gift so soon after meeting her (and a scented candle no less) is really unusual. If you wanted to thank her for helping you out with your non existent dog, offer to take her out to dinner.
C) You right in full sentences when writing a text message - this is actually a good thing in my opinion, as texting short hand is for teens and non native english speakers.

If you made a joke about a vibrator because you think it looks like a scented candle, you either have one fucked up looking candle, or a vibrator that looks like a coke can.

P.S: ETSY has a very robust market for candles shaped like penises: https://www.etsy.com/market/dildo_candle
 
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