Great question.
I'll start with a disclaimer: I don't believe in mind over matter. I think that as people, we are lumps of complex material that interact with our environment in predictable ways outside of our control. I.e our mind is subject to the physical state our body is in.
I think that when we eat "bad" foods regularly, our bodies adapt and become used to it. We change physically, making it very hard to break the habit as we crave these bad foods greatly.
Likewise, when we eat "good" food our body also adapts. We begin to crave "good" foods, and bad foods become less appealing.
So, I think the key is consistency. If you eat "good" food consistently, your body will adapt. In time, bad foods will become less and less appealing as your body changes and adapts to good foods - the foods you will be come used to and begin to crave if you eat them enough.
So, for me the key is eating good foods on a consistent basis.
Additionally, think about the environment you're in.
Don't believe your mind can just magically resist temptation.
If temptations are there, you're more likely to give in. Simple as that.
Make the environment that you live in one without negative temptations and I think you're far more likely to see success.
Agree 100% with everything you wrote. After a while you stop even craving crap food, instead craving good food... I know this may sound like BS to some but it actually does happen.
Keys for me are:
Control your food environment - no bad food in the house, much easier to resist if you need to actually get in the car to go buy junk food.
Cook your own meals for dinner and lunch - Find a couple of nice healthy meals you enjoy then cook a crap load of them, put them in plastic containers and freeze them. I only cook once every three weeks or so but when I do, I made 45 meals worth which takes around three hours to make. It also makes it easier to resist shit food as I am lazy and it's easy to just walk over and chuck a healthy meal in the microwave for 5 minutes then it is to go get crap food. Kind of like the frozen diet meals you get at the supermarket but cheaper and much better for you.
Have only healthy snacks in the house - Make sure you have some nuts such as almonds and some frozen mixed berries in the freezer.
Plan your week - Plan your cheat day/carb refeed around your social life. Say you are going out Wednesday and Saturday nights. Plan to eat whatever you like on those nights and eat a 500cal or so deficit on the other nights of the week.
Supplements - get in the habit of taking good quality supplements consistently: whey/casein/fish oil/multi/glucosamine/thermogenic etc. One scoop of ON whey, and one of casein with 600ml of water is quite filling, has lots of BCAAs and only 250 calories is great when cutting.
Probably some other stuff, will add more if I think of it.
Edit: Oh yeah duh:
Consistency - forget going on these "diets" where you eat healthy for a couple of weeks or months and work out like a beast then go back to eating crap and couch surfing. Just aim for being good most of the time and working out a couple of times a week as it's much easier to keep to long term. Diets are bullshit as they are looked at as short term fixes rather than rectifying the problems with your lifestyle that made you a fatty in the first place.
Don't be a bitch - seriously, suck it up princess. You want to be in shape or not? How much do you really want it? enough to work at it or enough to sit around whining about how you wish you fit? ...yeah I know, I should be a motivational speaker.