Media *** Random Tito Ortiz Videos MEGA THREAD ***

[Willie]

Boxes are the worst. They always get you in the creases too so they take forever to heal...

Wanna know the real kitchen finger killer?

Or its evil uncle

I get shudders when I look at that mandoline.

My pinkie still makes nightmares about the last time he met a mandoline.

 

[spinup]

Cut himself multiple times, look at his right pointer finger at the start of the vid, it was already cut and bleeding meaning he did a previous take of this vid and botched it, by the end of this one he’s bleeding into the onion. Then cuts his other hand towards the end. Folks with CTE should not be handling knives.

And that's with a knife. In the US, they let people like him own and carry guns.

 

[jikjik]

WTAF?

 

[Jesus X]

What further adds to the danger is he is using an unnecessarily large almost cartoony knife to cut onions and he pronounces mexican wrong. This is like an snl skit he clearly doesn't know how to cut an onion but his arrogance and ignorance maybe possibly built up from years of yes men makes him think he can teach something he doesnt know how to do to strangers.

 

[spinup]

Boxes are the worst. They always get you in the creases too so they take forever to heal...

Wanna know the real kitchen finger killer?

Or its evil uncle

I get shudders when I look at that mandoline.

Never had anything with the peeler. The mandoline though, that's pure horror material... I'd never use that with bare hands.

 

[ChimRichalds]

Boxes are the worst. They always get you in the creases too so they take forever to heal...

Wanna know the real kitchen finger killer?

Or its evil uncle

I get shudders when I look at that mandoline.

Oh the mandoline was my sworn enemy. I've had my share of nasty cuts, but the ones from the mandoline always hurt the worst. The frustration of catching yourself with such a simple instrument is unreal lol

 

[Buff]

Boxes are monsters. Pulling out a cardboard splinter is always kinda embarrassing


Buff ma dude! So I'd like your thoughts. I mentioned above googling cutting methods cuz I was always doing towards the root too. But I found this video, and since I see you've got tons of experience, I figured I'd ask your impression on it.

This method doesn't work - you need to keep the root on when you're dicing otherwise it all falls apart at the end. No good for speed prep.

You do cut both ends off for slicing, but then you chop lengthways so the pices get even.

 

[spinup]

The worst part is, most normal people doing this, you can be confident the video's gonna be fine and nothing terrible is gonna happen, cuz why would they post it? But with Tito, he could legitimately have severed a finger and still upload it, so this was nerve-wracking.

Hahaha, pitched like this, it could become the most watched cooking youtube channel in the world.

" Ok guys, don't forget to like and suscribe! And next week we are opening oysters with a screwdriver, with my friend Charles "Krazy Horse" Bennett! "

 

[haj02]

Five days a week I’ll chop onions three days a week. One of those days I’ll chop onions two days of the week. So, six days a week I’ll be chopping onions.

 

[Mohawk Banditó]

I'd go there if Tito was the waiter

Why do you hate Tito?


@Only Here for Attachments Sitting at the table while the grated cheese & finger shavings pile onto his plate.

This method doesn't work - you need to keep the root on when you're dicing otherwise it all falls apart at the end. No good for speed prep.

You do cut both ends off for slicing, but then you chop lengthways so the pices get even.

Ah. I just always disliked that horizontal cut and hoped to skip cutting on a third axis

 

[Nathan LaMontagne]

Holy shit, that was scary.

I've been a chef for nearly 25 years, and this is absolutely how you cut your fingers off.

Literally everything is wrong from the knife he chose to use, to his free hand positioning, and technique... He didnt even peel them.

Watching this video made me neurotic, I can't even fathom how terrible it was for you.

Fucking Tito... He really topped himself this time.
Also who the fuck holds a knife like that,?
I use the standard French grip myself
What about your you, sir?

Why didn't he peel them?? Whyyyy!!!
I swear to god Tito will somehow find a way to end humanity.

 

[Jesus X]

I would judge, but when I was 20 I sliced my finger trying to cut a butternut squash with a machete.

 

[StonedLemur]

I feel like we need to ban Tito from cutting onions for the sake of his fingers.

Dafuq was he thinking ffs.

 

[Substance Abuse]

Holy shit, that was scary.

I've been a chef for nearly 25 years, and this is absolutely how you cut your fingers off.

Literally everything is wrong from the knife he chose to use, to his free hand positioning, and technique... He didnt even peel them.

Can you reach out to Tito bro lol? I don't think he is the best onion cutter of the night.

He will definitely outlive his fingers chopping like that though.

And then if he has no fingers he can't even reach for his grapes.

This interaction gave me a good laugh, lol.

 

[Mohawk Banditó]

Tried to slice a pumpkin with a baseball bat and gave myself a concussion

 

[StonedLemur]

This shit is so traumatic for me that I had to chop something for my Sherbros.

I chopped these a while ago, but still...

Beautiful sir.

 

[Tito Tapped]

 

[Ayreon]

He's using a fucking machete

You can cut down a banana tree with that and he's cutting an onion

 

[Nathan LaMontagne]

This shit is so traumatic for me that I had to chop something for my Sherbros.

I chopped these a while ago, but still...

C'est magnifique

Trés bien.

 

[fprado]