In my experience, I found it best to ignore what you miss from 3/NV, and let it breathe on it's own. I initially didn't care for it either. The early game is kind of tough, as the game's new real time combat isn't really tailored for your low level character, and you don't have much in the way of AP for VATS. That doesn't last for too long, and you will quickly gain some armor and weapons(along with experience of course) that will even things out. Just scrape and claw your way through the early game. It won't take long to get up to snuff.
As for the dialogue wheel, it seems limited and kind of lame at first, because the descriptions can be vague and you sometimes feel like the game is making choices for you. You get used to it though, and I eventually came to like it quite a bit, as it lends itself to a more cinematic presentation with your character actually participating in the cut scenes, and you are still getting the same basic options you got in the other games. I went from hating the dialogue wheel, to wanting it back when I played "Starfield".
The crafting is what it is, but I suggest you try to get into it and focus on making some structures every now and then. It's way more robust than it appears, and you can get into a very addictive loop, where you're going out and scrounging and dungeon crawling for certain materials. Maybe even go on youtube and see what others have done with it, for a bit of inspiration. It's not for everyone though, and it's not a huge deal if you ignore it. Don't ignore the weapon/armor crafting, though.
The weight limit thing is as stupid as it is in every other RPG(I fucking HATE that mechanic), but you can dump some points into "Strength" to make life a little easier, and power armor(which is everywhere in this game) will always give you a lot of extra carry capacity. There's a few perks on the strength tree that will mitigate the effect as well. Still a very dumb mechanic that should die, though.
The perk system isn't nearly as overwhelming as it seems. Just look at it like a chart with (eight?) main sections to build on, instead of one big random spreadsheet. It's your typical main/sub perk system, just presented in a weird way. Once you understand it and get into a flow, it all comes together, and it's so big that you'll never get completely maxed out and always have a reason to gain more experience.
The story(or stories) are hit and miss. The main story is a bit unfocused and random at first, but some faction quests get interesting, the more you unravel and settle in. Like most Fallout games, though, the real good ones are the side stories, since it allows you to focus on them a lot more, than the one big main story that you're always getting distracted from.
In general, stick with it for at least 25 hours. Get some experience and perks, and then treat it like any other fallout game and just start exploring and discovering. It's a HUGE game that might take some time to settle in with and get used to, as the early game is a little rough and unbalanced(and jarring if you were expecting more of same). Oh' and whatever you do, ignore the alerts to "protect settlements". It's an obnoxious part of the game that really doesn't mean much, unless you're a completionist. The "Minutemen" suck in general. Just do their main quests, and ignore their bullshit missions.