Social Do you lie or do you tell the truth?

[Fugazy]

Brad Pitt doesn't tell everyone he's handsome and Professor BrianCox doesn't tell everyone he's smart.

They don't have to.

They also don’t post on Sherdog under fake names.

Or…

Maybe they do…

 

[fingercuffs]

They also don’t post on Sherdog under fake names.

Or…

Maybe they do…

The amount of sunshine I've blown up their asses over the years even the most modest of mice would have had to fess up by now.

 

[AldoStillGoat]

I mean I don't think it a purely binary thing. It us similar to "are you a good person?" People fall somewhere on the spectrum; some closer to one end or the other.

Outside of people far on the ASD spectrum or with 0 social skills, pretty much everyone lies at some point. There are some people who are honest and very seldom lie, there are some people who lie every time their mouth is open.

If you're having a friendly conversation with someone you just met and they showed you their baby and said "isn't s/he so cute?" Most people would say "yes" just out of social etiquette... I know some tough guy is gonna say "not me bro, I'd tell her that her baby is hideous!".... shaddap!

I try to he truthful, and if I do lie it is necessary.

i get your point… yes the question is way too black and white

might be partly from my distorted thinking

We all lie, it’s just some of us are more on the lying spectrum and less on the truthful spectrum. It’s like they know the truth internally, but choose to lie for power. I’m trying to decipher why I tend to be more truthful in all situations and why others operate in a more covert manner in order to gain power. Am I weak and dont want to deal with the stress? Have I been manipulated to be more truthful? Is it a good thing to generally be more truthful than lie or is it better to lie more? I guess everything has benefits and drawbacks and every situation has it’s own intricacies.

 

[Cpt Migraine]

i definitely don’t do that… I posted super late and I probably sounded like a rambling mess and didn’t explain myself properly

The advice / truth I usually give makes me look like I’m coming from a position of superiority or knowing more and I think that’s what rubs people the wrong way

i give them constructive advice without blatantly insulting them… like if I see someone struggling with something and they don’t see why… I’ll give them unsolicited advice that if followed would benefit them. They might not even know they are struggling with something and I still give them advise and try to tell them. Some rare individuals appreciate it and thank me for it. They might not immediately act on it but they know about the information now or they actually do act on it. Others might thank me for it but then they don’t see me as a friend anymore or develop hatred/jealousy whatever and they try their best to knock me down a peg or avoid me. My close friends appreciate anything I advise them with and we have an open information exchange.

No judging sherbro.. i just commented on the subject and not you personally..

Personally i think the people taking advice must respect you at a basic level and be at a point in their life where they drop the ego and appreciate advice.. some never reach that point.. that could be why you find these people rare..

I think this thread is about smoothness rather than truthfulness..

 

[AldoStillGoat]

because there's more to people liking you, and you getting opportunities in life than whether or not you're an honest person. I understand people can be socially manipulative and deceitful to get others on their side, but that's not the only path forward. People that claim to be "brutally honest" and complain that others disparage and resent them for it, are not focusing on the "brutally" part of it. You don't have to be an asshole to be an honest person, in other words.

true that’s not the only reason … can you give an example of not being an asshole to be an honest person?

 

[AldoStillGoat]

Brad Pitt doesn't tell everyone he's handsome and Professor BrianCox doesn't tell everyone he's smart.

They don't have to.

I know you hate me and this post that you made is coming from a place of trying to attack me but Brad Pitt doesn’t need to say he’s handsome cause people can see it

We are posting on a forum where you can’t see each other

god I’m stupid for even including that part in the original thread

maybe I am awkward as fuck

 

[lowlife]

true that’s not the only reason … can you give an example of not being an asshole to be an honest person?

this won't be very eloquent but hopefully you'll get the point. Your friend asks you if he's getting fat. Option A: Yeah bro you're getting fat as fuck what's wrong with you.
Option B: Yeah bro I was honestly getting a little concerned. Is everything ok with you and would you like to start working out some time? I'm here if you need to talk.
Option C I guess you could lie to them and tell them they look great. In the long run they will be infinitely more appreciative of option B.

 

[AldoStillGoat]

No judging sherbro.. i just commented on the subject and not you personally..

Personally i think the people taking advice must respect you at a basic level and be at a point in their life where they drop the ego and appreciate advice.. some never reach that point.. that could be why you find these people rare..

I think this thread is about smoothness rather than truthfulness..

true

what do you mean about the smoothness rather than truthfulness

 

[AldoStillGoat]

this won't be very eloquent but hopefully you'll get the point. Your friend asks you if he's getting fat. Option A: Yeah bro you're getting fat as fuck what's wrong with you.
Option B: Yeah bro I was honestly getting a little concerned. Is everything ok with you and would you like to start working out some time? I'm here if you need to talk.
Option C I guess you could lie to them and tell them they look great. In the long run they will be infinitely more appreciative of option B.

i would 100% do B. Never A and very Rarely C if I think their ego is super fragile and can’t handle it.

 

[fingercuffs]

I know you hate me and this post that you made is coming from a place of trying to attack me but Brad Pitt doesn’t need to say he’s handsome cause people can see it

We are posting on a forum where you can’t see each other

god I’m stupid for even including that part in the original thread

maybe I am awkward as fuck

I didn't read the OP other than the cliffs. I did read the post I quoted though.

 

[Cpt Migraine]

true

what do you mean about the smoothness rather than truthfulness

Delivery..

 

[Alphaboy]

I guess everything has benefits and drawbacks and every situation has it’s own intricacies.

This is true.

I’m trying to decipher why I tend to be more truthful in all situations and why others operate in a more covert manner in order to gain power.

What do you mean "to gain power"?

I've personally been raised with values and I've generally always been a 'by the book' person, to the best of my abilities. I've always prided myself on my virtues.

To me, lying frivolously is counterintuitive. No matter how good you are, you will eventually get caught and develop a reputation as a liar. Nothing worse than being the person whose credibility is shot!

I think it is important to lie very sparingly like I said, why? You want a reputation as an honest person.

One day you may be falsely accused of something with no evidence to back you up. All you can go on is your reputation:

"This guy @AldoStillGoat is a stand up guy, if he said he didn't do it, he didn't do it and I believe him!"
​

While the slick liar/ Little Finger type seems to be at the advantage, tell me which one you'd rather be in the above scenario?

 

[Gandulf]

I don't like to lie. I've broken so many friendships because I was dead honest about friends situations, them being lazy and complaining.... them chasing a woman they will never get etc... many people like their ass kissed, I'm not one of them....

 

[TenderLoving]

When you are truthful you dont really need to think to much, you can just be in a sense. Not being too blunt is a skill tho. I use it profesionally for troubleshooting and holding people accountable. Same socially, people appriciate me being genuine.

But you TS, being 5'11 and king of the manlets I'd Lie my Ass off

 

[Beechwood]

I have a medical stomach issue and one of the odd changes that happened when my disease first developed as a teen was to tell dishonest stories. I'd just make things up and lie. No big lies that I recall, just for what ever reason I would find myself with an over active imagination.

then as I become older I realized lying makes people not trust me. That wasn't good. So i began trying to be as honest as possible. I have my biases. i might tell a white lie from time to time to not hurt others. But in general I've learned my lesson, and learned better how to handle the psychological aspects of my health condition also.

 

[boingyman]

Depends on context there are social situations where it's better not to share your honest opinion if asked.

 

[Losfer Words]

Im not very good at lying.

 

[aerius]

Im not very good at lying.

 

[NoSmilez]

I lie all the time to people. It's just to make their life easier. I don't like being the enabler yes man though. If it's bad then I would tell them they are heading on the wrong path

 

[Hollywood Jack]

Do you tell the truth or do you lie?

I tell the truth about everything to a fault.

My parents raised me Christian with good morals (I'm an agnostic now), I try to help people and I always tell them the truth no matter if it hurts their feelings or not. Obviously, I don't take this out of proportion and hurt people but while some people will conceal information to glean benefits from others, I'll tell them the truth in order to help the other person get ahead which usually leads to no direct benefit to me and makes people angry at me for telling them how they can get ahead. Other people would lie or conceal information to these individuals in order to make them feel good/not make them feel bad. When people lie, it angers me, I then point the truth out and then I want to get away.

Do I tell the truth because I've been manipulated to tell the truth by my parents and now it's second nature? Or did my parents want me to have a solid foundation knowing that lies will lead you to trouble in the future? Or is it for personal benefit? Is it because I tell them the truth in order for them to get ahead so that my friendship with them will be more fruitful for both of us? Is this a way for me to feel superiority over others? Am I so far up my own ass because I'm smart/think too much that I find it hard to connect with others? Is it because I come from a collectivist culture and therefore I'm looking to help others before I help myself? All of the above? Is this a healthy outlook or should I be lying more in order to benefit from others? Does lying lead to short term benefit but long term misery?

When people criticize me I take it pretty well and I always question myself and my actions. I'm honest with myself because I feel like you need to be honest with yourself in order to be as successful as possible.

I'm asking these questions because for the most part I'm a lone wolf with hardly any friends because of these traits while I see other people who are more dishonest and manipulative with tons of friends and opportunities. I basically get 0 opportunities because no one wants to benefit someone they don't like. I have a few friends that I can be upfront and honest with and we're cool but in general you could call me a loner who spends his friday and saturdays alone working on my programming to get ahead or watching MMA and chatting on Sherdog. I'm above average in attractiveness, 5'11, above average IQ, athletic but I still feel like I'm different than others and can't connect with the general population.

This might be a question better suited for a psychologist (psychiatrist? lol) but I feel like it would be hard to get answers to these questions because I doubt most people scrutinize themselves or others to this level to begin with. I'd have to search pretty far and wide to get the right type of psychologist that could help me answer the above questions. This is why I turn to Sherdog armchair psychologists. Please let me know what you think, it's highly appreciated. Any and all comments are welcome. Especially for the older folk who have more experience in life.


TLDR:

Do you lie to others? Or tell them the truth? Do you lie to yourself or are you honest with yourself? Why do you do what you do?

Many have I loved, and many times been bitten
Many times I've gazed along the open road
Many times I've lied, and many times I've listened
Many times I've wondered how much there is to know
Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings
I live for my dream, and a pocket full of gold
Mellow is the man who knows what he's been missing
Many, many men can't see the open road
Many is a word that only leaves you guessing
Guessing 'bout a thing you really ought to know

I don't like to lie unless I really have to. But I am fairly sensitive to others' feelings. But not overly sensitive, I would say. I think I'm really honest with myself. More honest than with others, just because I know and understand myself better. If I had the same level of understanding with others, I'd basically never lie.