I actually got selected once when I was like 19. It was for someone who fell outside a restaurant and broke a leg.
This was their questioning:
Lawyers: Has anyone close to you broken a bone?
Me: Not that I remember.
Lawyers: Really, you don't know anyone that's broken a bone?
Me: I remember kids in school that had casts on broken arms and stuff, but none of my close friends or family.
Lawyers: Have you ever broken a bone?
Me: Yes, my pinky.
Lawyers: How?
Me: Wrestling practice.
Lawyers: You received medical treatment?
Me: No. I just taped it up to my other finger.
Lawyers: How do you know the bone was actually broken?
Me: Well, look at it *shows deformed, crooked finger*.
That was it lol. They picked me. When I showed up for the trial they told us it was settled out of court and paid us for the day anyway.
i got summoned for jury duty once for a trial that was scheduled to take a couple of weeks. i really had no interest in doing it so i scoured the internet looking for ways to get out of it without getting fined or held in contempt.
i wanted to pull the religious card and tell them that i dont feel comfortable doing this as it is up to the lord to judge others. but i'm sure the judge has probably heard that bullshit before and if i start thumping my bible and paying lip service to god that would probably get me held in contempt.
so then i thought about casually asking a question about jury nullification because if you mention those words in front of a judge or prosecutor or suggest that you believe in it, they're not going to seat you on the panel. but there's a fine line between just getting kicked off the jury pool and getting kicked off the jury panel and hit with contempt charges. so i wasn't locked on the nullification thing either.
i was also contemplating making an idiot of myself and going off with the sovereign citizen bullshit just to see where it gets me. but those guys always end up turning their parking tickets into a jail sentence and i don't want to be the next one.
i was thinking maybe make a bad joke about how i've always been excited to be on a jury panel ever since i watched the OJ trial. or tell them that i can tell if someones lying just by looking at them. but that's running it close to contempt as well.
i was even considering ordering an OJ simpson football jersey or an NWA Fuck The Police shirt and wearing it into court.
so after running out of options to duck out of jury duty, i narrowed it down to two choices. either i just go there and be upfront and get it over with and maybe they won't pick me as a juror, or i have a couple drinks and go to court stinking of booze, but not drunk enough to get myself arrested for public intoxication and thrown in the drunk tank. thats what it came down to.
fortunately a week or so before i had to report to jury selection i got an email saying there won't be a jury trial and my service isnt needed. the guy copped a last minute plea deal or something. it was a sigh of relief to me when it got called off because i probably would have had to serve on a god damn jury panel, or i would have made an idiot of myself in front of a judge and probably got fined and sent to jail for a few days.
i really did not want to do it. i aint the least bit religious but when it's gotten to the point where i start thumping the bible just to avoid jury duty, you probably don't want me on that panel.