Ever had to leave a gym you were happy training at, for personal reasons?

[Calibur]

Carlos Machados gym, had to leave because the atmosphere changed. His psychopath wife (whose like 20 years younger than him) ran off all the old school blackbelts and the gym turned into basically a daycare for North Dallas lawyers. No hard sparring, no competitions, guranteed promotions after X amount of classes. Had to leave, atmosphere (especially for the price) was too babyish

Carlos Machado was the first place I ever trained at that had a large pool of black belts. I saw like 6 in one class. In 2003 that was like finding a herd of pegasus at a lake.

There was this black belt named Reagan who was a cop at the time. Probably retired by now. He stick around or did he disappear in the purge?

 

[EatMyShorts]

One thing I forgot to mention, that may implicate matters.

Ever notice, the "culture" or general way of thinking in a place, is often cultivated from the top down;

As in the coach/owner encourages a certain way of thinking and thus training and actions and behavior in his gym?

Well, the coach at this place, he's an outstanding technician and knows his BJJ inside out.
Not only that but, has established an excellent teaching protocol so, not only knows the material, but teaches it in probably the optimal possible fashion.

Basically as far as the business of BJJ goes, I personally think it's an international class club, easily.

BUT - the dude has got to have the worst case of inferiority complex known to man.

I'd imagine he was bullied for being small and inferior looking as a kid, and unfortunately he's very easily offended - which probably compounds matters.

i.e. he's the epitome of an angry little manlet, and I know for a fact he doesn't get laid cause he approached me one time, asking if I could help him to pick up women.

So naturally he's gonna hate someone like myself, who genetically, is basically his polar opposite, tall, thick, solid, tight, jacked, ripped, picks up women effortlessly (including as mentioned, his daughter, who fancies the ass off me).

Additionally, he tries to shit talk me every chance he gets, to other club members - I mean, that is fuckin' reptilian low for a coach to do, but that's how much he hates me.

.....

So, that may contribute to why I simply can't train there long term.

 

[CyborgSmash]

I feel lucky to train at a place where the owner has cultivated a friendly atmosphere that is open to new ideas and questions.

 

[Smato_rules]

If no one stood up or said anything to stop the fight there are two explanations. Either you were right and you were the only man at the gym and everyone else were p*ssies/bad people. Or there is something you are leaving out and/or dont perceive/realize about yourself. So it could be everyone but you, just you, or you and everyone.


Usually in a situation where only one person says they were the sole good person/real man in the gym... there is something missing in the story.

Yea I get what your saying but actually had three guys reach out to me after about it, so I know I wasn’t in the wrong. Honestly it really did play out just how I described and was all so stupid. My buddy from the gym still calls me to check in and tells me stories about the same shit going on. He refers to them them As the “last name mafia”, and another guy had a similar incident happen not long after me but he just ignored them all together because he was new (but really good and tapped the psycho one) and didn’t want to overstep.

Also it wasn’t as dramatic as a fight, it was more similar to someone about to be jumped, then when I walked away had one of them yell how I’m a fucking pussy. So idk

 

[sb413197]

I never have (technically switched gyms when I moved), but if you aren't happy training at a gym for any reason, that's a problem. Except for a very tiny percentage of trainees for whom it becomes a profession, BJJ is strictly a hobby, and you're paying for the service that the gym provides. If you aren't finding your training fulfilling, something needs to change, and that might include switching gyms.

 

[HunterAcosta]

Carlos Machados gym, had to leave because the atmosphere changed. His psychopath wife (whose like 20 years younger than him) ran off all the old school blackbelts and the gym turned into basically a daycare for North Dallas lawyers. No hard sparring, no competitions, guranteed promotions after X amount of classes. Had to leave, atmosphere (especially for the price) was too babyish

Define "psychopath wife"? Just curious. Thats a strong statement to make.

 

[Foppa21]

I'll read the thread later. But if you have "personal reasons" for leaving, you couldn't really be happy with the training at the gym.

 

[shunyata]

Just other perspective also, I was at a boxing club for just over a year some time ago.

The coach absolutely loved me, way out of his way to help with techniques, everything, driving to tournaments etc.

My time there culminated with him telling me to leave the club, i.e. being expelled.

That's kind of polarized right there, right?

That's you skipping a lot of steps of what actually happened.

People aren't "naturally polarizing". Your actions and words are direct causal factors in the way people react to you.

 

[EatMyShorts]

I'll read the thread later. But if you have "personal reasons" for leaving, you couldn't really be happy with the training at the gym.

I was more than happy there.

Great technique, sparring, facilities, class times etc. All good.

But others training were not happy to HAVE me there, quite simply.

 

[EatMyShorts]

That's you skipping a lot of steps of what actually happened.

People aren't "naturally polarizing". Your actions and words are direct causal factors in the way people react to you.

Well, I probably wasn't born this way (or was I?).

But yeah, trust me, I get the polarized response, no matter where I am.

Love, hate.

The only actions I had was going to the gym to train, nothing out of the ordinary.

Think more so in terms of intuitive response to someone else, how you react to them without a single action being carried out, or word being spoken.

 

[shunyata]

Well, I probably wasn't born this way (or was I?).

But yeah, trust me, I get the polarized response, no matter where I am.

Love, hate.

The only actions I had was going to the gym to train, nothing out of the ordinary.

Think more so in terms of intuitive response to someone else, how you react to them without a single action being carried out, or word being spoken.

You said you were at a boxing gym where everyone loved you, then your time culminated by you being asked to leave / expelled.

You're leaving out everything that happened that led to you being asked to leave and the reasons you were asked to leave.


You describe getting kicked out of a boxing gym like a southpark meme.

Step 1) everyone loves me and boxing gym is great

Step 2) ???

Step 3) asked to leave and never come back.

That's not your fucking aura or people's "intuitive response", something happened and you're either pretending nothing actually happened or just keeping us ignorant because you don't want to admit what happened.


I mean, are you actually going to tell us with a straight face that this boxing coach who "loved you" took you aside one day and just said "hey man, training you and training with you has been great, but I just have this intuitive feeling about you that I can't explain and therefore you need to leave and never come back."

 

[560ti]

There was this black belt named Reagan who was a cop at the time. Probably retired by now. He stick around or did he disappear in the purge?

Didn't make the purge.

Define "psychopath wife"? Just curious. Thats a strong statement to make.

Picture Dale Gribbles paranoid/conspiracy mind paired with an unstable maniac/control freak mind. Basically his wife

The irony is her brother is UFC title contender stephen thompson whose arguably one of the most chill/mentally stable fighters in the promotions history (lol)

Damn that sucks. He looks like such a good teacher, I love his tutorials online.

Good teacher but only when he wanted to be. My favorite was him asking the class if they wanted to learn the secrets to guard passing (reaction was hell yeah that's why where paying almost 200 dollars a month for) and he basically says "cool well i'm going to be offering a morning workshop on the topic for X amount of dollars".........

 

[Sweeptheleg7]

Didn't make the purge.
Picture Dale Gribbles paranoid/conspiracy mind paired with an unstable maniac/control freak mind. Basically his wife
Good teacher but only when he wanted to be. My favorite was him asking the class if they wanted to learn the secrets to guard passing (reaction was hell yeah that's why where paying almost 200 dollars a month for) and he basically says "cool well i'm going to be offering a morning workshop on the topic for X amount of dollars".........

Yeah, I hate when that happens. I remember asking one of my old instructors, who shall be unnamed but is quite famous, about an omoplata defense after class and he showed it really half assed and said that he offers privates. He was answering questions of some other students from his other school at the time and I waited my turn. He opened a new school and it was my trial class. After signing up, classes were basically taught by blue belts.

 

[method115]

They took over the entire gym. The original owner sold it to the long time bjj instructor who’s a really nice guy but very non confrontational and was always high the entire time. These brothers came in and started training twice a day seven days a week and ended up running the warmups, controlling the music, and just dominating the atmosphere of the gym. I actually really like them but the problem is they were way too competitive and couldn’t accept losing. I was better than them so they would go hard as fuck against me then bitch whenever I would sub them or take them down because I’m too big.

What ended up making me leave was at the end of a class I was really beat up, had a bad neck that was all locked up, tendinitis in my arms, etc. and didn’t want to roll. My coach goes ah come on go with aj he wants to learn (he’s the youngest brother and just started but was huge and pretty good) so I did a light roll with him started on my back. I ended up doing a little flower sweep got on top and locked in a kimura and didn’t crank it. I slowly started pulling it back towards his head and he wasn’t tapping so I said this is where you tap and he goes no it doesn’t hurt so I slowly keep getting it tighter until he finally said ok. We get up that was the end of the round but he started swinging his arm like his shoulder is hurt.

Right away his brother comes up to me and goes let’s go so I lay on my ass let him pass and he’s fired up I could tell from his energy. He mounts and tries to get a no gi Ezekiel on me but it wasnt working. I roll him over and just stay in his guard til the round is over shake his hand and that was it. Until the other brother who’s the worst to roll with and injures everyone stands over me and goes “get up”. I’m like no I’m good I’m all beat up and he goes “no get up we’re going” so I say nah I’m done for the night I don’t just follow your orders” and he starts getting all fired up being like “you fucking pussy come on” and the other two circle around me. So I go what is this are you trying to throw punches and kicks in there too and he’s like “Yeah bro lets do that too!”. And I said fuck it I have work tomorrow, turn around and the coach was sitting right next to us the whole time never said a fucking thing.

No one did in the whole class, guys I would drill with, help, show techniques to, nobody said shit. I sit next to the coach and go are you ok with this? At first he pretended he didn’t see anything then all he had to say was ah that’s just rob no big deal. So I shook his hand said thank you for everything gave him my belt and left. Never went back again.

Can't even imagine this going down at the schools I've trained at. It's only been two but yea this would never be acceptable. I can't believe other training partners didn't even come help. I would have immediately got up and said something if this was me. I honestly would have just left with you if I saw the instructor react that way.

 

[EatMyShorts]

You said you were at a boxing gym where everyone loved you, then your time culminated by you being asked to leave / expelled.

You're leaving out everything that happened that led to you being asked to leave and the reasons you were asked to leave.


You describe getting kicked out of a boxing gym like a southpark meme.

Step 1) everyone loves me and boxing gym is great

Step 2) ???

Step 3) asked to leave and never come back.

That's not your fucking aura or people's "intuitive response", something happened and you're either pretending nothing actually happened or just keeping us ignorant because you don't want to admit what happened.


I mean, are you actually going to tell us with a straight face that this boxing coach who "loved you" took you aside one day and just said "hey man, training you and training with you has been great, but I just have this intuitive feeling about you that I can't explain and therefore you need to leave and never come back."

Actually yes, that's pretty much it.

I just seemed to progressively get under the dudes skin, to the point where one day he basically pulled me aside and said, "I'd prefer if you didn't train here anymore".

This was after several contests, national tournaments etc where he'd be driving me about the country.

There was no specific moment that happened by any means.

.....

Let me put some additional perspective on this.

I was in the super market today.

I was queuing for this cashier, chick.

She pointed at me and said, "please go to another check out, I don't want to serve you".

There's another chick who works there, where everytime I show up, she literally behaves like she wants me to slay her doggystyle, right there in the shopping market aisle.

.....

What I'm saying is, I just have this uncanny ability to bring out the best/worst in people.

Polarizing.

And I've been getting better and better at that over the last couple years, to the point where boxing coaches dismiss me from their facility, and grocery stores cashiers refuse to serve me.

And the entirety of my BJJ gym have looked on occasion, like they want to group-lynch me.

 

[shunyata]

Do you have prison tattoos / gang tattoos / Aryan Nation ink etc?

Are you black in an insanely racist county?

One doesn't simply get asked to leave boxing gyms for nothing, and if it's happened to you more than once that's a big red flag on you not on all these boxing gyms (unless the above is an issue).

 

[EatMyShorts]

Do you have prison tattoos / gang tattoos / Aryan Nation ink etc?

Are you black in an insanely racist county?

One doesn't simply get asked to leave boxing gyms for nothing, and if it's happened to you more than once that's a big red flag on you not on all these boxing gyms (unless the above is an issue).

I can see you're finding this as a concept, difficult to process.

It happened exactly as I outlined, not a thing more/less.

I get under peoples skin, which if they appreciate that type of thing, they love.

And if they don't, they hate.

It's that simple.

It's a skill I've developed and perfected over several years, and it serves me outstandingly well with chicks whilst I'm slaying them doggystyle.

**bang-bang-bang**

Though the self-entitled princess/cunt types (like the cashier gal today), they'd claw my eyes out if it were not incriminating and socially stigmatized to do so.

 

[shunyata]

I just don't believe that for a second.

If you "get under people's skin", that's something you are doing or saying that is rubbing them the wrong way.

Maybe you really don't know what you're doing, but you're doing things that generate these reactions.

 

[Old Man]

The first wrestling gym I was at, some deviant homosexual dudes there would pull sick shit like oil checking (even during drills) etc.
.....
So I used to go super hard back and pull dirty technique like pull them back on their knees from turtle, knee ride ab compressor type move, rape chokes etc.
......
No dirty techniques of any kind, but there was still plenty of creeped out homosexual maneuvers.
.....
I was rolling with this real closet queen no-gi, and every opportunity he had, he'd try to caress my nipples and abs through the rash guard, no shame.
End of the class, I saw him approaching me to catch a grope, and knew if he did, I was gonna headbutt him.
He sensed my potential aggressive stance and thought better of indulging his creeped out sexual tendencies.
.....
So the entire class hated me, who loved me?
The owners daughter who worked reception, developed the biggest crush on me.
.....
So I don't think I'm in the wrong, but ultimately everyone in the class ended up hating me so was easier for all concerned if I just left.
.....
From the start of time I've had this issue.
.....
First kickboxing gym I was at, they basically ostracized me, just for me being me.
I mean I'd walk through the door and just sense their contempt.
.....
That I walk through the door and sometimes I actually see the coaches face drop, as in, "not this fuckin' guy again" (and it's been like that from day 1).
.....
My time there culminated with him telling me to leave the club, i.e. being expelled.
.....
So naturally he's gonna hate someone like myself, who genetically, is basically his polar opposite, tall, thick, solid, tight, jacked, ripped, picks up women effortlessly (including as mentioned, his daughter, who fancies the ass off me).
.....
Additionally, he tries to shit talk me every chance he gets, to other club members - I mean, that is fuckin' reptilian low for a coach to do, but that's how much he hates me.
.....
But others training were not happy to HAVE me there, quite simply.
.....
I just seemed to progressively get under the dudes skin, to the point where one day he basically pulled me aside and said, "I'd prefer if you didn't train here anymore".
.....
She pointed at me and said, "please go to another check out, I don't want to serve you".
.....
There's another chick who works there, where everytime I show up, she literally behaves like she wants me to slay her doggystyle, right there in the shopping market aisle.
.....
It's a skill I've developed and perfected over several years, and it serves me outstandingly well with chicks whilst I'm slaying them doggystyle.

You realize the problem is you, right? You've obviously got a serious personality disorder. It's probably compounded by your latent homosexuality.

 

[EatMyShorts]

You realize the problem is you, right? You've obviously got a serious personality disorder. It's probably compounded by your latent homosexuality.

There's no latent homosexuality, that's just bog standard throw away pseudo science.

But yes, I do realize that I elicit these responses.

And really, it's up to me to be able to control how they're elicited.

And it's not a disorder, it's a talent.

Where I'm at now is, coming to terms with simply acknowledging there's some environments I'll never be welcome in, and some people that will always pretty much hate me (but hate for the right reasons, reasons I'm proud of).

If the future materializes as my past has, the flip side is, there'll be some environments that welcome me like a family member.

So for the moment it's just a question of getting out of this one horse town and finding those places, and in the current climate, that's not quite as easy as it sounds (but seemingly, necessary to do).