Sherdog Confessional: My affair continues...

[Brampton_Boy]

What do you seek to gain out of this experience?

Realistically, there is no positive end game here

The divorce rate goes down to around 10% when certain simple parameters are met. No need to reflect and project your bad marriage on here so that TS and all the other marriage naysayers on here feel all better about themselves. We all have choices, some of us are better at making the correct ones.

Genuinely curious, what are those parameters?

Also, I'm not a marriage naysayer - ideally, I would like to get married one day, and would be committed to the person I am marrying. If karma exists, that person would then cheat on me and take half my stuff.... but I'm not exactly sold on their being a cosmic balancing act where people get what they deserve.

Btw, a study estimated that 70% of American marriages experience at least one instance of infidelity: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02693241

That seems alarmingly high.

 

[San Marino]

That said, this is a shitty situation and you know that. But many relationships are, and fuck anyone who gets on a high horse to lecture you on morality.

Well, isn't that what you are doing?
You and @Brampton_Boy living in your 'ivory tower.'

 

[San Marino]

We're all giving good advice knowing TS ain't gonna do shit about it. He is gonna continue cheating till it blows up in their faces then be like omg I shoulda stopped this earlier.

Agreed.
I'm surprised this thread did not make it to "The Great Beyond" or "The Dump" after page 3.

 

[Snackbar]

Btw, a study estimated that 70% of American marriages experience at least one instance of infidelity: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02693241

That seems alarmingly high.

I think that is why it becomes such a hot button topic nowadays, almost everyone has experienced infidelity in one way or another, and it is one of the most devastating ways to blow up the family unit. It creates generational scars for the sake of getting ones dick wet.

Hell I am in my 40s and I still get uneasy when I think of shit my parents pulled when I was a kid.

Hearing your mom get clapped out by some guy she met at the bar an hour earlier is a really special experience.

Having your dad call and tell you he doesn't know when you will be able to come over again since his new girl friend doesn't like kids is a real character builder.

Or when I was 12 and my mom just said fuck it and walked out on me and my siblings never to be heard from again, she could be dead now I don't fucking know.

Those are just slivers of a life changed because of an unfaithful parent.

 

[TXstriker]

I think that is why it becomes such a hot button topic nowadays, almost everyone has experienced infidelity in one way or another, and it is one of the most devastating ways to blow up the family unit. It creates generational scars for the sake of getting ones dick wet.

Hell I am in my 40s and I still get uneasy when I think of shit my parents pulled when I was a kid.

Hearing your mom get clapped out by some guy she met at the bar an hour earlier is a really special experience.

Having your dad call and tell you he doesn't know when you will be able to come over again since his new girl friend doesn't like kids is a real character builder.

Or when I was 12 and my mom just said fuck it and walked out on me and my siblings never to be heard from again, she could be dead now I don't fucking know.

Those are just slivers of a life changed because of an unfaithful parent.

If

 

[San Marino]

No offense man, just my honest thoughts on this. From one man to another, I challenge you to be a man and make the tough decision.

Mate, that ship sailed 6 years ago. It is called addiction. Like in nicotine.

 

[Brampton_Boy]

I think that is why it becomes such a hot button topic nowadays, almost everyone has experienced infidelity in one way or another, and it is one of the most devastating ways to blow up the family unit. It creates generational scars for the sake of getting ones dick wet.

Hell I am in my 40s and I still get uneasy when I think of shit my parents pulled when I was a kid.

Hearing your mom get clapped out by some guy she met at the bar an hour earlier is a really special experience.

Having your dad call and tell you he doesn't know when you will be able to come over again since his new girl friend doesn't like kids is a real character builder.

Or when I was 12 and my mom just said fuck it and walked out on me and my siblings never to be heard from again, she could be dead now I don't fucking know.

Those are just slivers of a life changed because of an unfaithful parent.

That sounds awful - I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

Genuinely, there is a lot to consider and I have some serious choices to make. Knowing what to do and following through on it are two very different things. There have been multiple times in the past where both her and I swore up and down not to go down this path - most recently, when she had her second child. That lasted about 6 months before our emails/chats shifted back into something that was more than platonic.

I appreciate everyone's input, including those that called me out on being a piece of shit. Tough decisions ahead....

 

[Alphaboy]

ideally, I would like to get married one day

Good to see you're still optimistic, knowing first hand what can happen... I'm guessing for a permanent partner you'd like to avoid a woman like the one you're Jonesing over now?

 

[ChickenBrother]

Literally?

Well I suppose if a person LITERALLY got up on a high horse (or under one) and began to lecture others on morality while conducting said act, the message would likely fall flat. Or not. I don't know, I hadn't considered that.

Well, isn't that what you are doing?
You and @Brampton_Boy living in your 'ivory tower.'

As I said, I don't know TS nor any of his specifics. So I'm not judging him nor presuming that the little I've shared of my own situation is comparable to his, only that it might be relevant as a data point and that I can relate to parts of it. I'm neither for nor against marriage in absolute terms. Everyone chooses their own religion. But kids deserve special consideration and ours will always have it from both me and my wife.

 

[Kardashians]

I think that is why it becomes such a hot button topic nowadays, almost everyone has experienced infidelity in one way or another, and it is one of the most devastating ways to blow up the family unit. It creates generational scars for the sake of getting ones dick wet.

Hell I am in my 40s and I still get uneasy when I think of shit my parents pulled when I was a kid.

Hearing your mom get clapped out by some guy she met at the bar an hour earlier is a really special experience.

Having your dad call and tell you he doesn't know when you will be able to come over again since his new girl friend doesn't like kids is a real character builder.

Or when I was 12 and my mom just said fuck it and walked out on me and my siblings never to be heard from again, she could be dead now I don't fucking know.

Those are just slivers of a life changed because of an unfaithful parent.

That’s some rough shit bruh

 

[buffpants22]

The divorce rate goes down to around 10% when certain simple parameters are met. No need to reflect and project your bad marriage on here so that TS and all the other marriage naysayers on here feel all better about themselves. We all have choices, some of us are better at making the correct ones.

Please do regale us with these parameters . i gotta read this.

 

[Snackbar]

That’s some rough shit bruh

Meh, it's perspective, there are alot of people here on Sherdog who had legit awful up bringings (ie violence, abuse etc.). I was just pointing out why I think this instance gets more negative response here than if it was just some childless married woman.

 

[Omegaboy13]

Please do regale us with these parameters . i gotta read this.

It's researchable, and quantifiable. There are a number of parameters. Notably:

Are yours/her parent still married?
Are you educated?
What are your political affiliations?
Do you have strong religious beliefs?
Where did you meet?
What age did you marry?
Etc etc.

The answers which dictate the positive outcome seem pretty obvious... It's not rocket science.

 

[JbModest]

She is more in the wrong but you're wrong too.

 

[tuckermaclain]

Imagine being the kind of two faced piece of trash who can look into the eyes of his faithful wife and lie to her 100% of every day. And your kids probably look up to you like all kids do not knowing that you are a liar and a cheat and a false father to them. You're reprehensible.

Imagine being a piece of trash poster who makes comments assuming they know everything. I didn’t mention it but I must now. My young wife had at least two affairs that I found emails from all parties while I was working insanely long hours early in my career. It broke my heart. I forgave her because I had kids with her, and I wanted more than anything else to be with them every day as they grew up. She was not the Angel waiting for me at home with a freshly baked apple pie every day. I had to listen to her telling me what she did that day when I knew damned well what she really did. We made it work. Thanks anyway for your comment.

 

[Alphaboy]

Imagine being a piece of trash poster who makes comments assuming they know everything. I didn’t mention it but I must now. My young wife had at least two affairs that I found emails from all parties while I was working insanely long hours early in my career. It broke my heart. I forgave her because I had kids with her, and I wanted more than anything else to be with them every day as they grew up. She was not the Angel waiting for me at home with a freshly baked apple pie every day. I had to listen to her telling me what she did that day when I knew damned well what she really did. We made it work. Thanks anyway for your comment.

Almost every affair story I read involves a guy working long hours slaving away for a wife only to have her run off on him while he provides her with a cushy life. I mean, I've heard this story A LOT! This seems to be the exact same scenario with the OP. Before being married (and especially before having children) I would've called you a simp for taking her back, but I understand not wanting to break up a household and it is not an easy decision. I'm not as black and white anymore.

Now if she cheats on you again, you can surrender your man card.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

I think that is why it becomes such a hot button topic nowadays, almost everyone has experienced infidelity in one way or another, and it is one of the most devastating ways to blow up the family unit. It creates generational scars for the sake of getting ones dick wet.

Hell I am in my 40s and I still get uneasy when I think of shit my parents pulled when I was a kid.

Hearing your mom get clapped out by some guy she met at the bar an hour earlier is a really special experience.

Having your dad call and tell you he doesn't know when you will be able to come over again since his new girl friend doesn't like kids is a real character builder.

Or when I was 12 and my mom just said fuck it and walked out on me and my siblings never to be heard from again, she could be dead now I don't fucking know.

Those are just slivers of a life changed because of an unfaithful parent.

That’s fucking rough. However, not to dismiss your perspective but do you think infidelity was the cause of the breakdown of your parent’s marriage OR was it a symptom of broken marriage that with or without the affair(s) would have ended in a complete breakdown anyway that could have lead to someone walking out one way or another?

 

[San Marino]

Same guy, earlier thread from 2015.
. Would you help a friend or family member cover up an affair? | Sherdog Forums | UFC, MMA & Boxing Discussion

 

[fingercuffs]

Imagine being a piece of trash poster who makes comments assuming they know everything. I didn’t mention it but I must now. My young wife had at least two affairs that I found emails from all parties while I was working insanely long hours early in my career. It broke my heart. I forgave her because I had kids with her, and I wanted more than anything else to be with them every day as they grew up. She was not the Angel waiting for me at home with a freshly baked apple pie every day. I had to listen to her telling me what she did that day when I knew damned well what she really did. We made it work. Thanks anyway for your comment.

I hate he is Buffalo. He has fuck all idea what the fuck is going on bedroom wise. He thinks I'm a slut because I've slept with more than one person when he kept his "Cherry" for his wife.

 

[BAM]

Imagine being a piece of trash poster who makes comments assuming they know everything. I didn’t mention it but I must now. My young wife had at least two affairs that I found emails from all parties while I was working insanely long hours early in my career. It broke my heart. I forgave her because I had kids with her, and I wanted more than anything else to be with them every day as they grew up. She was not the Angel waiting for me at home with a freshly baked apple pie every day. I had to listen to her telling me what she did that day when I knew damned well what she really did. We made it work. Thanks anyway for your comment.

You call her your "young wife" and also in other posts say you have adult kids, you are very financially secure and are 61. How long ago was this? Big age gap? Why continue a facade for 15 years?

The way you laid it out in those posts it comes off as if you feel you have perpetual justification due to an old affair? Is that accuate? Did she cheat on you again?

I know that's a lot of questions, but you made a pretty loaded post to gain some sort of moral highground.

Once the kids are grown you should do what you want, but saying you forgive her while also saying it forms part of your justification for having an affair seems inconsistant.

Not even sure I want to know. Normally I wouldnt ask as it aint my business, but given what you shared already, fuck it. Maybe there is some wisdom to be gained here.