What do you expect from your girlfriend/wife sexually?

ralphc1 said:
The excitement gets lost with familiarity. After I got divorced, I've never had the urge to live with anyone for more than a few days and have always been very open about that. I've had few women who seem to feel the same way. There have been some who claimed not to be looking for a long term relationship who got clingy.
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I lived with my girlfriend that I started dating right after my divorce but after we broke up about 5 years ago, I've learned that I really love living alone to the point that I really don't ever want to live with someone again. I guess if I really loved a girl and it was very important to her, I'd do it but it's not a priority at all for me. But I definitely don't want to be in a relationship if I don't love our sex life. It's why I got divorced it the first place.
 
Wrath of Foamy said:
The quotes here may be a bit messed up, but thank you for your replies.



Yeah, she's an excellent cook and we've both put on a lot of weight since we started living together.

I've been going to the gym on and off for years, and even when I quit the gym last year, I still ran a mile or two very frequently and got those push-ups done. I went back because even though I felt good running outside, I just wasn't losing the weight, and went from 114kg to 121kg in a matter of months. I'm about 119kg now.

I'd like to have sex frequently, but it's not just sex that's gone. Even when I kiss or go for a cuddle, she shrugs me off and complains.



She accuses me of cheating a lot, but I think it's just to annoy me. I've blown up more than once at her over the years due to her baseless accusations. Is she cheating on me? I don't think so, she doesn't give herself the time. I'd almost welcome her cheating on me at this point, as it'll mean that we can both move on.



We are, but we also live together. We also went through a lot of shit really early on, and we've lived together from the start. It's an old persons relationship at a young age, she doesn't care, but I sure do.



She knows, and she just tells me to shut up, or makes an excuse not to.
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Yeah that's rough. I know my libido's a bit mental but when I didn't feel attractive when I was overweight I was less inclined to jump in the sack energy wise as well as feeling a bit self conscious so if both of you have put some extra timber on it's likely her fault as well.

Again, not trying to teach you how to suck eggs. It would do my nut in if I wasn't getting laid, I have a hot temper enough as it is. And I really am not even going to give you any advice as to losing it because what I did was pretty much eating 200 calories a day which is really unhealthy and not the way to go about it whatsoever. But you do feel better about yourself when you see it drop off and if there's still something there you'll get it back on track.
 
dc007 said:
I lived with my girlfriend that I started dating right after my divorce but after we broke up about 5 years ago, I've learned that I really love living alone to the point that I really don't ever want to live with someone again. I guess if I really loved a girl and it was very important to her, I'd do it but it's not a priority at all for me. But I definitely don't want to be in a relationship if I don't love our sex life. It's why I got divorced it the first place.
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Drat.
 
Texan6533 said:
My wife and I agreed a long time ago that we will never let a week go by without having sex barring unforeseen circumstances. So far so good
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Yea when I got with my wife and we were getting serious I told her I need sex pretty regularly or it's not going to work. She had no issues with this. Whenever we talk to our friends about how often they have sex it can be kind of shocking. Like 1 time a week is the norm it seems like. I understand 1 time a week when things are hectic but not the norm.
 
fingercuffs said:
Yeah that's rough. I know my libido's a bit mental but when I didn't feel attractive when I was overweight I was less inclined to jump in the sack energy wise as well as feeling a bit self conscious so if both of you have put some extra timber on it's likely her fault as well.

Again, not trying to teach you how to suck eggs. It would do my nut in if I wasn't getting laid, I have a hot temper enough as it is. And I really am not even going to give you any advice as to losing it because what I did was pretty much eating 200 calories a day which is really unhealthy and not the way to go about it whatsoever. But you do feel better about yourself when you see it drop off and if there's still something there you'll get it back on track.
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I think that some of it may be her as well, though she isn't the physical type at all. I've offered her the idea of us playing tennis together, but nope.

Honestly, as toxic as this might sound to some people, I'm not big on her being massively overweight, but I also like a woman who enjoys food.

Then again, I'm not sure if it's just to do with weight. We're quite a battle-tested couple, it's been eight years...spark may just be gone. I'd like to reignite that spark, but she doesn't seem to care.
 
i m almost 50
so ive gone from "cant wait for gf to get here so we can bone"
to "cant wait for wife to leave so i can jack"
in just 11 years
 
Wrath of Foamy said:
I think that some of it may be her as well, though she isn't the physical type at all. I've offered her the idea of us playing tennis together, but nope.

Honestly, as toxic as this might sound to some people, I'm not big on her being massively overweight, but I also like a woman who enjoys food.

Then again, I'm not sure if it's just to do with weight. We're quite a battle-tested couple, it's been eight years...spark may just be gone. I'd like to reignite that spark, but she doesn't seem to care.
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Likely talking to the wrong woman. It's been a struggle with people where I'm either not getting enough or they're rubbish in bed so I don't see the point. A lot of women, however, just lose interest in it. You hugging and kissing her, she's likely thinking that's going to turn into the no pants dance and if she isn't feeling like she wants to get laid shies away from you wanting some closeness, even if you don't want to get laid.
Mate of mine hasn't had sex with his wife in 9 years. HE stays around because his 16 year old has a blossoming baseball career.
Another friend who is gorgeous to look at, is really funny and a great personality rarely sleeps with his wife. So it isn't all just about looks, I guess we just get comfortable and it flies out the window.
 
if your relationship with your girl is solid, you shouldn't have to do anything to keep her sexually interested. something is amiss if that's not the case.
 
Wrath of Foamy said:
We are, but we also live together. We also went through a lot of shit really early on, and we've lived together from the start. It's an old persons relationship at a young age, she doesn't care, but I sure do.
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Why would you waste your best years not having sex?
Talk to her. Spell out the problem. Ask her why she never wants it anymore. You are adults. If her stomach aches all the time she should go to a doctor instead of pushing you away from her. But honestly I doubt it is the stomach ache.
 
Wrath of Foamy said:
The quotes here may be a bit messed up, but thank you for your replies.



Yeah, she's an excellent cook and we've both put on a lot of weight since we started living together.

I've been going to the gym on and off for years, and even when I quit the gym last year, I still ran a mile or two very frequently and got those push-ups done. I went back because even though I felt good running outside, I just wasn't losing the weight, and went from 114kg to 121kg in a matter of months. I'm about 119kg now.

I'd like to have sex frequently, but it's not just sex that's gone. Even when I kiss or go for a cuddle, she shrugs me off and complains.



She accuses me of cheating a lot, but I think it's just to annoy me. I've blown up more than once at her over the years due to her baseless accusations. Is she cheating on me? I don't think so, she doesn't give herself the time. I'd almost welcome her cheating on me at this point, as it'll mean that we can both move on.

We are, but we also live together. We also went through a lot of shit really early on, and we've lived together from the start. It's an old persons relationship at a young age, she doesn't care, but I sure do.

She knows, and she just tells me to shut up, or makes an excuse not to.
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That's rough bro. Honestly it seems like fear of the unknown is keeping you from doing what you already know you need to. A romantic relationship with no sex and not even any physical affection is not really a relationship.

My wife and I have dramatically different sleep requirements. She goes to bed at 9.45 on the dot. I can stay up until 12:30 and do fine on 6 hours of sleep. But she demands 'tuck-in cuddles' every single night we are not being intimate. Just 15 minutes of uninterrupted cuddling talking and laughing. We have told many of our friends about tuck-in cuddles. And I think it really does keep us close.

You should make your woman aware that physical and emotional intimacy is mandatory for you and continued rejection and distance will be a deal breaker. Agree to whatever she thinks she needs to help get her back on board, be it therapy or what-not. But be clear with her.

You might want to do a self audit on your 'wooing skills'. When was the last time you surprised her her or actually pursued her. Gotta make an effort.
 
cooks1 said:
Allow me to translate and condense this for everyone.



Your undercarriage smells of poorly wiped ass, sweat, and basement chair odor.







This is simple. The 'poor spark', 'not enough libido', and 'lubrication problem' girls were being honest with you that you weren't doing it for them. The 'quick cummer' could not stand being with you one second longer so she faked an orgasm and fled.



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Im glad I got you around to sum it up for everyone
 
cooks1 said:
That's rough bro. Honestly it seems like fear of the unknown is keeping you from doing what you already know you need to. A romantic relationship with no sex and not even any physical affection is not really a relationship.

My wife and I have dramatically different sleep requirements. She goes to bed at 9.45 on the dot. I can stay up until 12:30 and do fine on 6 hours of sleep. But she demands 'tuck-in cuddles' every single night we are not being intimate. Just 15 minutes of uninterrupted cuddling talking and laughing. We have told many of our friends about tuck-in cuddles. And I think it really does keep us close.

You should make your woman aware that physical and emotional intimacy is mandatory for you and continued rejection and distance will be a deal breaker. Agree to whatever she thinks she needs to help get her back on board, be it therapy or what-not. But be clear with her.

You might want to do a self audit on your 'wooing skills'. When was the last time you surprised her her or actually pursued her. Gotta make an effort.
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Seriously. One of the sexiest things, he was in the other room doing something or other then literally picked me up off the sofa, carried me to bed and went down on me. He didn't want any reciprocation, there were no words, nothing.
Just take her dammit!

But yeah, women really tire of sex when they get comfortable. Never understood it but is normal.
 
To get wet when I post on Sherdog
 
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